I'm a bit upset

Well, I got cut off by my team. I knew it was coming, but it still pisses me off. I didn't get a top three by the end of last month. Never mind the guys who did all had teammates working for them. Worse, I still haven't gotten my uniforms, and now I'm pretty much over it, so they can keep them. As long as I get my money back. When I post on my team forum, it's like my posts are invisible.

Well, depending on how my ankle is (the left achilles tendon has developed a small knot on the back of my ankle which is a bit painful) I might race Sunday. On a course that last year kicked my ass, but that's because I had only about 200 miles in my legs and I had just finished rebuilding my road bike the night before. Not a good plan. I remember thinking "man, I could really do well here if I had some miles in my legs", and this year I'm close to 3,000 already. Let's get rolling.

It's not a great motivational tool in our sport, but anger does work, and I'm angry. Very. My team has abandoned me, even when I've already done 11 races, and most of the other guys have done maybe 4. Add to that I got a 10th, 14th, 22nd in a pro race, 26th in another race where half the field quit, 34th and highest finish of the team a few weeks ago when I had two teammates, and I feel they owe me. If I had any teammates at the other races things would have been much different, I can assure you. Let's just say that when I last got this pissed I bridged a 12 minute gap by myself to a breakaway of 11 guys in only 28 miles. I finished 5th. Or the time a team director made some desparaging remarks about my ability in a stage race in Kentucky/Tennesee. I won the stage and finished it 19 effin' minutes ahead of everyone. Of course, with all the climbing the two previous days I only moved up to 17th overall, but I made my point. I was never allowed to get away solo or in a group the rest of the season.

Soooooo, if I race Sunday, where I'll have several of the "in" clique of my team, I aim to thrash the field. I won't race against my team, but I'll definitely be working for me.

Well, it's time for bed, I think. One more day down before the big move so the hole in my heart is filled...