Monday, February 27, 2006

Another new pic

Well, I was going to post all the pics I took on my drive through the Catskills today, but then I decided I did it to be bale to share with someone special, and it wouldn't be as special if I shared them with you guys, now would it? So you'll have to be satisfied with a new profile pic of me. Funny how you never get to really see me in these pics...

Pics of my life, renderings of my future...

I got out of work early today, so I decided to go out, shoot pics, and share it with someone special. I intended to call at every location I stopped to shoot apic, but hey, this is rural NY. No service, even with cingular! Actually, I barely saw any other people. But I did see two seperate Red Tailed hawks. Ohhh, how I love birds of prey... Beauty is deadly...

My weekend was good, I won't drive you to jump off a bridge with details, just know that everything I've felt and thought was right, and has been reinforced.

So, I need to get on my bike tonight. Little hesitant, because that means I need a shower afterward, and my oil situation is dangerously low. And it's supposed to drop to 8 degrees. Joy. My housemate in her infinite wisdom never got oil delivered before she went to England over 2 weeks ago. Smart. And I have no contact info or account number, so I'm powerless. Well, we'll have a little talk when she gets back. Like how to effectively use a thermostat (not drop the temp to 58, then crank it to 70 when you get home, etc) so we'll be able to conserve some. I feel better now.

I feel my next post may include som eof the pics from today. It was cold but worth it. Stay tuned.

Sunday, February 26, 2006


I just saw on the net the closing ceremonies have wrapped up. Maybe it's me, but I feel the olympics were a much bigger deal as a kid. Could it be because of the cold war East vs West thing that was going on, or could it just be me? I saw about 2 hours of the olympics this year, and wasn't moved. Maybe it's because so many of the "sports" are obscure, or aren't really sports for the masses. I mean, curling? Or ice dancing and figure skating, while beautiful and definitely take athelticism, really don't seem like sports to me. Same with freestyle aerial skiing, snowboarding. Those are sports where judges make the decisions. In hockey you score a goal. Simple. Enough of this rant. The olympics are neat, but are they even relevant anymore?

I love things I can't understand...

Like cellphones, and html, and computers, and women... But I digress. So I've been doing the domestic thing today, laundry, dusting, vacuuming, trying to organize my stuff. I've also started a not even half hearted effort to find my own apartment. It's for a variety of reasons.

One, I'm sick of driving 54 miles each day to and from work, especially when that 27 mile trip takes at least 35 minutes each day, but it's usually 40-45 minutes. then, I have to drive one of the most lethal roads in this part of the state. I have no desire to become a statisic. Add to that my housemate doesn't exactly plan for things, and her brother is always eating my food and using my clean towels when he shows up (and I've talked to him about it)and my patience is wearing thin. Oh, and her not telling me she was having a realtor come to appraise theh ouse a few eeks ago didn't give me a good feeling. I think being prepared is a good thing.

Ok, not much else going on here. The company I work for has matched Joey Cheek's donation, and will match whatever any employee gives, as well. So, being creative, we came up with an incentive at my location. We call it a 45/45/10 raffle. If you win, you get 10% of the total, Make a Wish gets 45%, and Joey Cheek's charity gets 45%. and all of the donations are matched. Yeah, you shouldn't be rewarded for charity in this way, but it's the only way to get the high schoolers to donate. Tickets are a dollar, and these kids are shellingout 5-10 dollars each, so it increases the charitable contribution overall.

My parents are coming up in two weeks to visit with my 90 something year old grandmother. (I think she's 92) It's a late birthday celebration, as my parents, brother and sister and their families and I will be there. Of course, it's a long day for me, as I'll be just east of Danbury, CT, then have to go to Amsterdam about half an hour west of Albany to see my grandmother. But I think I might get Jack-O-Lantern (my third bike) then, too. Woohoo!!!

Ok, then, another day of riding in the basement awaits. Hopefully it'll help me for the 5th. Yup, I'm getting nervous. I'm really light from eating better and riding, plus that fever. Only problem is I feel I have no power. I can go forever right now, I can do short, intense efforts, but I don't have what it takes to dig deep and push really hard for long periods. I'll have to work on that.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Not a bad day

I worked today, got home, drove a few miles up the road to an overlook and shared a beautiful sunset with someone special far away. It made me happy, and the smile just keeps going...

Then I got home, and decided to go and ride my bike in the basement. Well, I got my heart rate up to 197 bpm. My max at my age should be 186. Pretty impressive. I won't bore you with scientific stuff, just know that most people can't get withing a few beats of their max before passing out, I was able to spike it for about 5 seconds, at which time I wished I passed out. First race is March 5th, second race is March 5th, third race is March 5th. I'm not sure how I'll do, but I hope to be able to at least be competitive. We'll see.

Ok, so life is good. I never thought I'd be where I am now in many ways, but it's all working out and I couldn't be happier. 'Night.

Friday, February 24, 2006

I miss party lines, abacuses, and candles...

I'm a techno-ditz. Got a new phone yesterday. Didn't know I had to activate voicemail. That's only the beginning. I'll leave it at that. (but if you know how to change a ringtone, please let me know...)

I'm ok after last night. Thank you to all who took the time to comment, and even if you didn't, and just read it, thanks. I still shake a bit when I think about what might have happened, but it shakes me more to think what might have happened had I done nothing. So I made a difference.

I'm pretty recovered from being sick. That's a good thing. Since I volunteered to work tomorrow. I could use some extra money, and it's an early shift, just like normal. So I'll be able to go out and enjoy the day. I'm doing that a lot more than I used to. Rides are more fun. Serious but fun, like 16 years ago when I was first invited to the Olympic Training Center in Lake Placid. Tough work, but I loved it. It's taken a long time, but things are fun again. Enjoyable just to be doing them, not as a means to an end.

I could sit here and bitch that I've earned the right to be angry, that the fun left when I got screwed by the national coaches, or the shit I dealt with in the Army, or getting cancer. Or losing a girlfriend to a car accident I was in love with. I almost have a right to whine, be pissed at the world. I'm not. I'm happy to be here. Something big is on the horizon, something good, and I have a feeling what it is, but it's pretty vague. After last night, it was reinforced in me that I need to live now, appreciate and love like there's no tomorrow, and be the best person I am. It's too short. Cherish each other.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Back to where I want to be...

Well, kind of, anyway. I'm really happy because I've met someone. Finally, someone who is as beautiful inside as out, and whose mind is as scintillating as the rest of her. I want to be here emotionally, but I'm not where I want to be physically...yet.

Why are you staring?!!!!???!!!!!!!

I'm pissed. Really pissed. And disgusted with people. Not all people, just the ones I dealt with tonight. "You are FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!" You'll agree, I'm sure.

There was a bad accident tonight on the way home. It was a head on about 400 feet in front of me. I stopped and pulled off into a driveway. The front of one car went up in flames. No one was getting out or moving. I ran over but everyone wasn't moving and they looked unconscious, and the doors were locked. So I tried to punch out the windows, but couldn't. All the time the fire wasn't going away, mind you. Other people stopped, and this is where I get pissed. They GAWKED!!!! Not helped. STARED!!!!!!

I started screaming "YOU FUCKING BASTARDS HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" One guy ran to me, and was calling 911 while I ran back to my car to get one of those things that can punch out windows and cut seatbelts in case you get trapped in a car. I smashed the windows of the first car, cut the seatbelts, and the guy helped me pull them out and drag them away. STILL NOT ONE OTHER PERSON MOVED, JUST STARED!!!!! I guess the fuel pump of the other car was still going, because the fire was just getting bigger and spreading.

The guy helping me told me to stay away from the other car and grabbed me. I punched him so he'd let go of me and ran to the other car. I pounded out the driver's window, and the steering wheel had broken and was impaling him. I smashed out the rear driver's side window and crawled in and cut his belts. As the other guy held him steady, I lowered the seatback. Then we worked him off the steering wheel, and pulled him out through the back window I went in through. STILL NO HELP!

This poor guy had a sucking chest wound, so I told the other guy to go get the bag in my car from the grocery store and duct tape in my driver's door pocket. We put it over his hole so he could breathe, and then I could hear his lung was collapsing from the gurgling sounds. So I used my boxcutter to cut between his loer ribs and stuck an empty pen body in the hole so it would drain. Learned that in the army.

The paramedics said I at least gave the people a chance. The police put me in the back of a squad car to calm down and to keep me warm and prevent shock. Now that I've vented, I feel a little better.

Two years ago my brother was in an accident by Hudson, NY. His car burst into flames and he couldn't get out becasue he was pinned and had a broken shoulder, ribs, ankle and femur. There was snow on the ground, but nobody did anything but stare while he was yelling for help. Thankfully a truck driver stopped and had a fire extinguisher and used all of it to knock down the fire as much as he could until the fire department arrived. We don't know who he is, but he saved my brother's life. I vowed to not let that happen to anyone else if I could. How could I? I didn't think, I just did it. Maybe I'm a fool.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Remember your parents telling you your face would freeze if you didn't change your expression?

Mine did. They were wrong. Until now. I think I have a permanent smile. That's a good thing. Other than illness, life just keeps getting better and better, and it hasn't yet really started...


I'm sick. Really sick. Like no work today. No bike even though it's about 45 degrees and sunny and dry. I actually called the doctor.

I woke up this morning drenched. On my way downstairs my legs felt like jello. My temporary housemate Bob goes "you alright?" to which I replied "I'm in a bad way". He got the phone for me and I called work. Then took my temperature.

I had a 103.9. Uh-oh. MY normal temp is actualy low, at 98.1. Been there for years. So I make a bunch of Gatorade and grab some banannas and retreat back to my bed. Back to sleep. I wake up at 11 and my temp is 104.3. Total danger territory. I call the doc. They tell me to take a colder shower and take some type of medecine, which Bob graciously went and bought. Thank you, sir. I also did the old school alcohol rub to open the blood vessels before the shower to enable more heat leeching.

Well, the fever broke a little while ago. It peaked at 104.5 before dropping to 100.1 (WDST ha!!!) and now I'm feeling better. I knew it was coming, as I'd been feeling off for a bit. I also went from 168 pounds two days ago to 161 right before I typed this. At least I actually have to gain weight now.

These things are weird. I'm not sure if it's my body changing from increased workloads from my training or an actual illness. My lymph nodes are normal. That leads me to believe it's trainng related. It's been going on as long as I can remember. It's just uncomfortable and a little worrying.

Ok, time for a better rest of the day. I hope it's getting better for all of you, too.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

You can put your lips to my ear and scream "is there anyone home, do you hear me at all"?

Ever have a period of your life where you thought it was going to be sub-par at best, and it turns out through serendipity to have an amazing outlook? It's a good place to be. The view is beyond words. Just vast possibilities, with no roads to confine you....

The mysticism is of a different kind now.

The smile hasn't left...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Sunday, February 19, 2006

No pithy title, I'm still mystified, but in a great way

Wow. My mind is blown. Women still mystify me. I've just had one of the most stimulating conversations in I have no idea how long. Ok, I am speechless. If you know me, that's an accomplishment. I don't know what else to say...

This has been one of the best days of my life in a long, long, time.

I don't mind being mystified...

Knew I had my camera somewhere....

So here's a pic of the 911 I drove the other day. Yummy. Now I think it's time to go out and take pics of some of my favorite places to ride. A little scenic appetizer for all of you who haven't been up here. Mind you, it's winter, so there is a pronounced lack of foliage...

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but the forthcoming pics will be at the least, interesting...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

I asked you why you came and you said "just because" I guess I could do without it if I knew what it was...

Ok, so it's effin' cold up here again. With something like an absolute zero windchill. At least when I was stupid enough to go on a ride it was absolute zero for my body. My face froze in this scowl, so I had to pour my gatorade down my throat because I couldn't close my mouth... and eating a bananna was hysterical to watch, I'm sure. But I got home ok and it all turned out alright.

So while I was waiting to thaw, I called my Dad and asked him his thoughts on my latest car idea. Ok, I could hear him roll his eyes, but he did agree it wasn't that bad a plan. He just asked if I could slow down enough to afford the insurance. (I have no tickets, last one was 5/96, but I did send my Dad a pic I took last year on the Mass Pike and you can see the speedometer ((I was driving and taking a pic. Smart)) is at about 107 or something...) I said, "Well, yeah, I never got a ticket with my other 911 or the other cars, right? And with gas at $2.40 a gallon up her (and it's dropped quite a bit in the last 5 days) I can't afford to go fast and eat." We then discussed where to get it fixed, parts costs, how much I could do on my own as opposed to a shop, and after all was said he agreed with me. So I guess I'll keep an eye open for a good one around here, or more likely I'll buy one off my friend Brett.

Then my Dad asked if this meant I was blowing off finishing school, which I said no. It's true, I can't deal with not having some type of degree anymore. I've got so many credits from 3 different schools I should have 2 BS and be on my way to a MAster's. but I just never stayed in one place long enough. It's frustrating for me. I consider myself above average intelligence (feel free to agree or disagree in the comments section) and pretty well versed in many things, so you'd think I could just get this one thing out of the way.

So women mystify me. One I was talking to the other day said I lack commitment ability. Huh? What is that? I didn't even know there was such a thing. But if I lack it, how did I survive the Army, why do I thrash myself on my bike for over half my life so far, how did I learn the piano well enough to have my teacher say she couldn't teach me any more? I never cheated on anyone I've dated, I always have tried to keep my word, and if I can't, I let the effected party know asap. Where is this non commital thing? (Don't bring up not finishing school...) Or how about the one who wanted to go shopping with me for clothes? So we went, as friends since she has a boyfriend and I respect her too much as a friend to date her (if that makes any sense), and suddenly I have the plague or something. So I asked her what was wrong, she of course said "Nothing", and we still get along fine, but rarely talk. I understand maybe she had other ideas or something, but no way was I going to tread down that path. But I really don't know.

Fast forward to today. I'm on the phone with my ex, because I had gotten some things that I thought her mother would enjoy, and had some Girl Scout cookies for both her and my ex. My ex (Kat) is nice as can be to me, acting like we're best friends and suddenly she wants to go do stuff again. Wait a minute. After all the things she said and sent me in some emails and phone calls, and now we're supposed to be pals or something? Or the woman in the grocery store. I was shopping for yummy stuff to try a new recipe for veggies and a steak with a new marinade I invented. (Relax, it's not some crazy guy thing, I modified a Foodnetwork recipe) There was a woman who was struggling with her items. I offered to go get her a basket or cart, which I did get a cart. After loading her items into it for her, she thanked me and asked if I was single. I said yes, she said she was surprised. Ok, sure. I asked her if she'd like my phone number since I figured that would put the ball in her court if there even was a court. She said no, she doesn't date anyone from "this area". Wow. What does that mean? Like, a 200 mile radius, or a 6 block perimeter? How did she even know I was from here? I could have been passing through on my way to Moose Jaw, Yukon Territory or something. Hell, I was 25 miles from my house to start with.

So there are a few reasons why women mystify me. Maybe I'm off base, maybe I meet all the weird ones. You tell me. But-

Women mystify me.

I wish my luck were like this most of the time...

Yesterday was a good day. It didn't rain as much as it was supposed to, work was just an ugly day because we were short a few people, but I got to stay late and make more money. Even immature girl was pleasantly professional, and that's all I ask for. Ok, so I was suffering because I wasn't recovered fully from my ride the day before, but that's life. I wrapped it all up by sending a few emails and then messing around with a program that maps the elevation change of routes I ride. It's really fun, then I can save the maps to show people later. I said I was a geek...

Anyway, I had sent emails to friends about looking for a new (to me) car. I have an in at a nearby Nissan dealer so I could get a Maxima or Altima (used) near cost. It's very tempting, and in a few more months I might be able to pull it off. But I got an email from a good friend from my days in Indianapolis. He's an exotic animals vet and I used to drive his race cars in vintage race events. Yeah, rough life. In fact, go here to see some pics of what I raced: Well, this friend has at last count 28 Lotuses, 48 Porsches, several Ferraris, an Aston Martin, and about 30 Triumphs. Cool stuff.

Since I'm a total gearhead we got into an online discussion of the pros and cons and why I wanted a 4 door sedan as opposed to a sportier car. I cited my back pain due to breaking my back twice since 2000, the aggravation of dealing with 2 doors if you wanted to take more than one person along, let alone getting stuff out of the back seat, etc. So Brett, my friend asked "why not get a 2 seater with a marginal back seat? Not like you have that many friends, lol!!!" Thanks. With that vote of confidence.... Back to the plot. I told him I really like late 90's and later Maximas. Fast, comfy, more than enough room, etc. He asked how much I was planning on spending, I told him, and he said "hell, for that money I can sell you one of my Porsches that I've owned since new. Plus I'll meet you halfway and have it trailered to our meeting point." Hmmmmm. A 911? One of the cars I've always wanted to own another of? It's fast, pretty reliable, and I've just come back home from test driving one for sale here to see if my back can handle it. I told the guy I'd be gone for at least 90 minutes, he said take a few hours. I went up the Taconic, down some two lane roads, really gave it the go through. Guess what? It rides nicer than my Saab 900s, almost as plush as a Maxima, and is way cooler. Mileage isn't too bad. Something to consider.

Sorry to bore you with all that, but I'm just so excited. I had a 911 Targa years ago, loved it, but had to sell it to pay tuition. Wanted on ever since. So I'll keep you posted, if you're interested.

For once, not much else is happening. Housemate's in England, cats are finally starting to get along, first race in 2 weeks...

Here's a big hug and kiss to all of you!

And women still mystify me....

Thursday, February 16, 2006

When do the flashes in my peripheral vision go away?

Oh man, a day beyond belief! Great weather, great ride until about 10 miles to go (details later) a VW Squareback, tan lines on my legs already, women mystify me, and I'm starving.

My ride was great, it was warm, sunny, shorts weather. All things were going well until about 10 miles from the end when I bonked. Hard. Like, lightheadedness was setting in (and seeing how I was on a bike that required balance, well, yeah), my legs were past giving up the ghost and had even ceased being undead. I could feel it coming on, but there is nothing you can do. Just try to keep a steady tempo and not lose it.

Bonking is fun. Once in a great while. After you're recovered. Which I'm still not all there yet. Quiet. Your appendages go to jelly, for me my peripheral vision starts getting these swank disco type vertical flashes all around, (do the hustle!!!) and I know I'm really hosed when I want to cry. Weird, I know. I'm getting close to it when I start visualizing what I'm going to eat when I get home. That's bad.

So what happened? I didn't eat enough earlier in the day. It's that simple. So the three bowls of Frosted Flakes (which were great, by the way), several banannas, oj, water, a sausage mcmuffin with egg, a sausage and egg biscuit ( I was craving them, and they're good to eat in the morning before a ride.) and two sandwiches obviously weren't enough. Amazing. I eat in the realm of 5400 calories a day right now, and it's not enough...

Anyway, I was behind someone who must be in training for the title of World's Slowest Driver. What do I base this opinion on? Have I gathered vast empirical data, surveyed countless cars over a given route, had a psychic experience? No. A VW Squareback was pulling away from us. The station wagon version of the original Beetle was pulling away from us. From the taillights it looked to be a late 60's model, so it probably had about 50 horsepower. Folks, check the owner's manuals of your cars and see how much horsepower they have. God, even my 88 Saab 900s has 138. But I love them anyway, they're so weird looking. Or at least distinctive.

Bouncing back to my ride (sort of ((I'm really into parentheses tonight))) (HA!!!!!) I've ridden enough outside without tights to have some tan lines showing up on my legs. I'm only happy about this because everywhere I've worked there's always that one girl who lives to tan and likes to brag about how dark they are. So I'll wear shorts or something the day after they do it and laugh. Of course, don't life the shorts past mid thigh (weeeelllll, if you're cute an single you or you'll be blinded by the absence of color.

Women mystify me.

Stay well, good luck, and as we say in racing, keep the rubber side down. Hmmm.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I might be a genius, but god, I'm dumb....

I haven't been able to watch tv for about a month. All because I fell asleep one night watching Tour de France tapes (I have every tour since 1989 on tape. I said I was a geek!) and rolled over on the tv remote. Or the satellite remote. Anyway, I could watch tapes and DVDs, but no tv. Hmmmm. I couldn't figure it out. I only got the blue screen of sarcasm, the tv mocking me. So, I decided I wanted to try and watch the Olympics tonight. So I went into the den and started resetting everything. Nothing worked, just like all the other times. Then I changed the channel of the tv with the tv remote. Yup, I was one channel off... Lots of people have been saying that for years. LOL So now I have tv. That's right, ladies, I hate all these nutty tv systems, etc. I'm happy I can run the sound through my stereo speakers. I'm able to rebuild a Lampredi designed Ferrari v-12 from 1958, but can't get a tv to work...

A friend of mine was online last night and she asked me what I did for V-Day. Told her I rode my bike. She said "So you spent it with the love of your life, huh?" It was a joke, but damn, how true. I wasn't too thrilled about being alone in all senses of the word, but after I rode, it was ok. It's so therapeutic. Oh, and my buddy stopped by work to tell me the idiot who was with him yesterday bawled for 20 minutes after I left because she felt so bad after I told her off. I hope she learned something.

The annoying immature girl at work got a major warning today, as in "do it again and you can get your things and leave immediately. " Of course, I'm afraid she's going to set me up somehow, but I've dealt with things like this in the past, so it'll be ok. Today she just talked to me when she needed something, and thanked me for my help. That's all I ask.

That's the news, and I'm outta here! (Quick, where is that from and who said it?) Post your answer or guess in my comments. You'll win absolutely nothing but my congratualtions. But it will be genuine. I love you all, so love more people, too.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Do I ever give up?

No. Never. Impossible. I'm just going to post until I wear out my keyboard. At which time I'll get out my spare keyboard. yup, I have a spare keyboard. Plus a whole spare computer...

I was cleaning Horse (the green bike) and looked at my computer on my bike (my god this guy has them everywhere) and saw I went 48.7 mph down the west slope of Mohonk Mountain. Not bad considering I had to slow up for the van I was catching, and the road was covered with sand from the plows. Life on the edge...

Funny how we all have our problems, and how they're all major to each of us. It's all perspective, I guess. Not sure what my problems are, though. How's that for a switch? I mean, what some may consider a problem I see as bonuses. No girlfriend. Bonus, but a double edged one. Not much money per se. Keeps my life simple, I buy what I need, and treat myself sometimes to something I really want once in awhile. Ok, that's all I can come up with. I'm about to pass out since I'm totally relaxed after dinner. Plus, I've had that Ashley Judd/Hugh Jackman movie on which kills me. (Chick flick, I know, but Hugh is so cool in it. all my married and coupled friends point to his character and say "see, you're like him without the smoking, that's why you're perpetually single". Mental note, need new friends...) So I'm pretty mellowed out. Time for bed. If those two monster cats of mine will get out of the way...

I know nothing about these guys...

Remains ID'd of Four Missing in Vietnam

WASHINGTON - The remains of four U.S. servicemen missing in action since the Vietnam War have been identified and will be returned to their families for burial, the Pentagon said Tuesday.
All from the Army's 101st Airborne Division, they are Maj. Jack L. Barker of Waycross, Ga.; Capt. John F. Dugan of Roselle, N.J.; Sgt. William E. Dillender of Naples, Fla.; and Pfc. John J. Chubb of Gardena, Calif.
Chubb will be buried in Inglewood, Calif., this week. Barker, Dugan and Dillender will be buried in April in Arlington National Cemetery, said the Defense Department POW/Missing Personnel Office.
Their helicopter was shot down on March 20, 1971, the office said in a statement.
Barker and Dugan were piloting a UH-1H Huey helicopter with Dillender and Chubb on board while on a troop extraction mission in the Savannakhet Province of Laos.
Officials said that as the helicopter approached the landing zone, it was hit by heavy enemy ground fire and exploded.
Between 1988 and 2001, joint U.S.-Lao People's Democratic Republic teams undertook four unsuccessful investigations and three excavations for the remains. Crash site surveys in 2002 and 2004 eventually found some remains, wreckage and insignia. The remains were identified by forensic anthropologists using medical and dental records, the Pentagon said.
From the Vietnam War, 1,807 Americans are still unaccounted for, 364 of those from Laos. Another 839 have been accounted for in Southeast Asia, 208 of those from Laos.

Welcome home.

Happy Valentine's Day to you too (you slack jawed rat bastard...)

Ok, it's the big day of love. Not to be confused with three days of love in '69. Went ok, I ate too many of those yummy candy hearts (each saying in each color) but got out of work int ime to go thrash myself on a few mountains on my bike. Funny thing, I was all excited to go when I left work, I got behind some slow person and got home about 15 minutes later than normal. Which threw my already tight schedule off, but I decided to perservere and got out there and then it was great. I'm very happy with how I rode, and of course enjoyed the little scenario I had in my head to keep me going. I have to imagine I'm in a race that's being televised and I imagine the commentary. Pretty good stuff. No, I don't win all the time. LOL It works for me, that's what's important. So I got home and of course was somewhat frozen, like my fingers and toes, the rest was ok. One of my simple pleasures of life is getting home freezing cold and taking a long hot shower after a ride and shaving my legs. Sounds strange, but I love the feeling of being warm and super clean.

Anyway, I was talking to a person earlier in the day while hanging aroung on my lunch break with a friend. This ignoramus knew I had been in the Army and had the unmitigated nerve to ask me if I killed people, "because that's wrong". Uh huh. Bitch. Sorry, but that's wrong to ask crap like that.

So I responded thusly (is that really a word?) "Yes, for a few reasons. One, so you wouldn't ever have to know the horror of combat or have the sleepless nights or feelings of isolation that I've been dealing with, two, I'd do it again if it meant no else would have to ever again, and three, so that you'd have the right to ask such an insensitive question no matter how tactless it is." With that I got up and walked back to work. People amaze me. How we're not extinct with the daily displays of stupidity I witness boggles my mind, not to mention male adolescence.

So, on to happier thoughts. It's Valentine's and I'm single. Again. Oddly it doesn't bother me. At all. I'm really looking forward to my singleness. No distractions, no expenses. Of course, there is a law student...

Monday, February 13, 2006

I must be getting old....

I had a post, went downstairs to get my laundry out of the dryer, and now have forgotten what I was going to post. Go me at half speed. Being the geek I am, not only do I race bikes and take pictures, but I also love trains. Yup, those big, noisy monsters that startle people out of their sleep at night. Model ones, too.

So today I had designed this little world of my own to go along the wall above my tv in the den. I'm all excited, as I won't have to buy practically anything in terms of actual construction, and I have more trains than most hobby stores. So what happens tonight? I go on the Model Railroader website, and they announce for next month's issue that the feature article will be on a guy's layout that I've been dying to see. Go figure. So now, all work is on hold (I guess it isn't, since work never actually started...) until the next issue arrives at my favorite hobby shop, the Hurley Country Store. (Check their website, it's really a cool place. I worked there in the past.) My friends like to tease me and say I just like to buy trains and run them in my mind...

So my cats have two new cats to acclimate to, and though Lucy is a nice new friend, Barnaby isn't quite as easy going. At all. In fact, he thinks he's the alpha male. Well, he likes to pick on Sarah, which isn't a great idea, as she's about 20 pounds and will run at first, but it's all part of her plan. She'll stop and make a stand, and is quite vicious, too. Well, then there's Jasper, all 26 pounds of him. Yeah, he's quite the ginormo kitty. All muscle. Barnaby is probably in the 17 pound range. Well, he decided to show Jasper who's boss. Mind you, Jasper sent the chihuahua in the house down for an 8 count with one smack of his front paw while walking and didn't miss a step.

I'm sure you've figured out where this is headed. Barnaby was bothering Jasper, and he was nonplussed by it. Until Barnaby decided to smack Jasper. Jasper decided enough was enough and whopped Barnaby square on the nose and then sent him sliding across the living room floor. Jasper doesn't use his claws much, he prefers to box. Well, Barnaby steers clear of Jasper from that moment on. Until he was chasing Sarah and she turned to make a stand at my doorway. Barnaby was raising his paw when noticed Jasper had walked up to about 4 inches from him. Barnaby slowly put his paw down and walked away. It was priceless. Later Barnaby ran into Jasper and Jasper just backpawed him out of his way. I swear Jasper is part cougar. the funniest part of all this is now if BArnaby hears Jasper's name he goes running to his room. Pretty smart cat.

Ok, I don't let them fight. Usually a loud yell breaks it up, I'd hate to see Jasper pissed off. He's so nonchalant about it, he never hisses or lowers his ears.

look at that, a post. Amazing.

Crazy fun and Johnny Cash! Oh the Rock Island Line is a mighty fine line....

So I decided to use the nuclear option and call HR on the immature coworker. This was after a consultation with my overall boss. Nothing like killing ants with a sledgehammer... I don't like wasting time, and I wanted it to be documented, plus at least I filed the complaint, not vice versa, and then I'm screwed.

So we had not as much snow as NYC. Like not even half as much. But I went to Minnewaska and cross country skied for about 3 hours. Of course, part of that was becasue I'm slow, and partly was lost, but it was a good day. Nothing like being the only one there after a fresh snow. Nothing else to say. Rode in the basement again, but that's not too exciting, and definitely not worth writing about.

Let's see, I'm a bit confused. My new team has a forum. It has a Misc section. Soooooooo, I posted. It got deleted. Here's the story: There's a website about bike racing that has a section called the Daily distraction. the whole idea is to send in pics of women who race, ride, podium girls, etc. Yeah, it's sexist, I know. Come on, cut us some slack, we shave our legs for god's sake!!!! Anyway, because they used my pic I sent in, (of my now ex girlfriend) I get a free pair of socks. It's actually a pretty big deal in the cycling community. And I'm damn proud of the pic. I won a few contests using this and a few others from this set. So, in my excitement, I said "hey guys a pic of mine got used on this website and I'm getting a pair of socks!" Oh well, guess it maybe was stretching the line, but isn't that what a Misc section is for? Let's see if I get in trouble.

Ok, that really is it. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!! I'll be your Valentine since I'm available, lmao!!!!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

A little bit o' history for ya...

Thought you might be interested in this forgotten bit of information.......... It was 1987!
At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration. There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning! He was being drilled by a senator;
"Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?"
Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir."
The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, "Isn't that just a little excessive?"
"No, sir," continued Ollie.
"No? And why not?" the senator asked.
"Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir."
"Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned.
"By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered.
"Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?"
"His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied. At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued.
"Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked.
"Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered.
"And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator.
"Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth." The senator disagreed with this approach, and that was all that was shown of the clip. By the way, that senator was Al Gore.

Also: Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners." However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands, The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.
Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports.

I went and checked this out at the Natinal Archives and Library of Congress sites. Though I had to pay to get transcripts, I wasn't going to post these without corraboration (sp?). We can't change the past, but for close to 20 years we've had info coming in tellin gus something was up. Much like Pearl Harbor, but don't get me started on that one...

Moving on to a much happier note, the storm appears to have finally stopped. Looks to be about 10 inches or so out in the lawn. The same lawn that had no snow 2 days ago. Life in the northeast... means riding in the basement again. Bleh!!!

Saturday, February 11, 2006


Yup. Big storm today. I already rode, and now I'm waiting for it to show up. It snowed a little last night. Almost like nature saying "ha, take that you slack jawed rat bastards!!!I tease you with a slight taste of spring and now it's back to SAD land with you!!!" I wonder if Mother NAture is evil or just has a twisted sense of humor. I can appreciate the second.

So immature girl at least is perceptive. Since I started ignoring her existence like she does to me, she quickly decided to be nice to me. Maybe because I can make life a lot easier if she needs something at work? Sorry, but you're on the other side of the river, and the bridge abutments are smoldering, lassie...

In about 3 weeks I have my first day of racing. I'm worried, as I feel like I'm way behind in my fitness. Paranoia. However, I'm not really focusing on any races until April, so I hope to race myself into form. (In bike racing when you're in shape and riding well, you are "on form" or have "good form". Wow, that sounds so weird.) Train to race, race to train...

Anything else? No. Time to ride in the basement for a recovery ride. Such the exciting life I have. Have a good weekend!!!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Read Gulliver's Travels, it has a section you might enjoy as it's about little people...

I like my job. I like who I work with. Except one person. She needs to be brought down quite a few pegs. (I'd say cut down to size, but that would take awhile...) If you ever meet me, or know me, you'll see I'm pretty laid back and not much gets me upset. Like someone drinking my Coke I left in the refrigerator at work. Unopened yesterday, gone today... I figure someone needed it and didn't have the money or something. But I digress.

A certain coworker obviously is cynical about what I've said I've done in my life, whom I've met, etc. Hey, it's her perogative. She doesn't acknowledge you if you say good morning, etc. Not worth my time to worry about. Except that when she wants to say something about me, she passes notes to a friend of hers. Like we're in 6th grade at the lunch table. Yeah. Or her latest tactic is to get her friend going while we sit at the break room table and mock me, like today she goes "I know Mariah Carey, I met her when I was umm in England training for..." and then her voice trails off. I sit there and read my Cycle Sport International mag and inwardly laugh at her. Yet I think what bothers me most is how rude and immature it is. I mean, grow up. Get on the list for a spine transplant, grow some backbone, and if you have something to say to me, say it. How off base am I thinking this?

I'm sorry for her in that she's that small a person, and that she's never left Kingston in her life and is so petty. As of three years ago I was able to say I had done all the things I wanted to as a kid in my life already. While everyone else was off in college and then marriage and/or careers, I was doing all kinds of stuff. Since I have no kids and am a free spirit, I took every oppurtunity I could in my life. So I'm not rich, but I'm satisfied so far, and it's getting better.

So now it's time to be prepared to deliver her comeuppance when the oppurtunity arises. It's simple and I'm already prepared. Nothing like having the truth and proof on your side readily available...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Remembering a friend

One More Time to Terp, I still miss you.
Things went awry on that ill fated night
A day later I sent your bags home
You were no longer alive
Your spirit free to roam
But when you left part of my heart was forever gone
A weekend a year to remember you by
But I would give anythingJust to see you one more time
I'll miss you courtside
Basketball just ain't the same
I know you're smiling
But I just want one more game
I held you as life drained from your eyes
Begging you to hold on to your life
I wish it was me, please know I tried
You've gotta know I think of you every day
Haunted by that night every night
You gave your life so I could have mine
But I would give anything God, just name it
To see you one more time
My dreams replay your final words
I followed through
I told your mom you loved her
I remember holding you together
While you softly cried
Blood brothers forever we joked
Then you shuddered and died
You've got to be enjoying your next life
That thought gives me peace in mine
I don't want to hear "the ultimate sacrifice"
It doesn't bring you back
Or make me sleep better at night
Someday, when I've given everything
I hope I'll see you one more time

Ok, I was in the Army for awhile. Many of my friends were killed or maimed. This guy was one of my three best friends from that time. Every now and then I think of him, and this is what I wrote. It's hard to describe how close we were in my unit, partially because we relied on each other so much, partially because it was my good fortune to be in the presence of such great men. I miss them dearly. I do what I do how I do it (with everything I've got) because I've been given the chance to live, and I don't want to waste it. I want to make them proud of me. I hope they are.

Man, do I have no life or what?

Wow!!! This is my 21st post already!!! Of course, that just means I've surpassed the number of people who read this thing by 7 times...So what's new? Nothing. At all. Worked more than I wanted to the past two days, so just indoor trainer rides. I'm starting to hit that place where I'm paranoid everyone else is out racking up miles and I'm falling behind. Then I talk to people and they're like "you've ridden how many effin' hours on the trainer AND HOW MANY MILES OUTSIDE????!!!!!??" and I know I might be on the right track.. Thing is, Sunday 5 March is rapidly approaching...

So I haven't called nor emailed my ex since Saturday. It feels good. Really good to have closure. Nice woman, just not for me.

And where does all this lead? To the plain, unadulterated truth that I have no life right now. Let's look at the facts:
no girlfriend
hell, basically no friends
see more of my bikes than I do for people, except coworkers
I'm hungry
I'm posting my 21st entry in what, less than 3 weeks?

As you can see, I'm not too serious about much. Except my job and racing, and the few friends I do have. Can't leave out the family. Gotta love my nieces and parents and bro and sis and their respective spouses. So, really, though I'm rehashing slightly, I'm ok with my newfound singledom. To be honest, this'll probably the last I mention it being over. Do I move on quick or what?

Right, then. Due to the fact you've heard so much about my bikes, here are a few pics I took the other day (when I took those mirror shots) so you can see what they look like, and then you'll know if you're running over the right guy... HA!!!! Look at that first pic, wow do I have a white scalp... Oh yeah, the green road bike is named Horse, and the orange cyclocross one is named Creamsicle. The road bike is a Schwinn Paramount OS steel frame dinosaur from 1991 (ZOUNDS!!!!!) and weighs about 20 pounds. A bit heavy, yes, but bombproof, stiff, and ultrareliable. No matter how bad the roads on a race are, I never worry about this bike breaking. The cyclocross bike is a Salsa Las Cruces made of scandium and carbon fiber. No idea on weight, but it's not too bad, probably also in the 19-20 pound range. Again, so far it's been bombproof. I need to upgrade a host of parts on it, as right now it's a Frankenbike (Campagnolo, Shimano mix of parts) but that's in due time. Also, it needs to be reassembled, which I think will be tonight's job since I'm all cleaned up and ready to go.

Yeah, and Horse is currently clean of road grime... in case you cared.


Monday, February 06, 2006

Glad that's over

Whew, done with the trainer. Thank god. Yuck. So what else? Ummmm, did my fundraiser concert over the weekend for the Girl Scouts. Talk about a shock. Over 500 people crammed into this old gym/cafeteria/church hall thing. I played basketball there with CYO when I was about 10-12, and before that it was our church, too. Ok, enough boring details.

The sound check was good, except my voice cracked once, which it did in Manhattan recently when we played a bar. So we scratched that song. Long story short, I'm happy how it went. Between cookie sales, donations, the tickets, baked goods, and a 50/50 raffle, we raised in the realm of $6000. Not bad. Now I can retire while being on top. Played Bach, then the second half my group played a few original songs and a bunch of Matchbox Twenty stuff, as that's what was requested by my niece and her friends. Got two standing ovations and we did a fun encore. But I'm glad it's over. The rehearsals, the tweaking, the travel, the 15 hours of sleep during the week, it was fun, but forget that as a lifestyle.

Ok, so I have two cats, Sarah and Jasper. They're biological brother and sister. Jasper is the black one, and Sarah is the not black one. Ok, that was lame. They wrestle, lick each other's heads, quite fun.

So, what do I look like?

Ok, it's really windy, making it a cold, biting day. Trainer time in the basement. As much as I like to suffer, I don't relish the thought of riding for 3 or 4 hours while snow flurries blast by me. So, it's laundry and recovery followed by an hour on the trainer. Before I get to "reward" myself by staying warm, I figured I'd catch up on my blog, post a few pics of me, so you know what I look like, and see what else comes to mind.

First things first, here are 2 pics of me. I decided to mess around with lighting in the dining area of the house, and use no flash with my digital camera. Came out pretty well, I think. Yes, I purposely skewed the shots so no comments... I feel I look way younger than 33 and 8 months. I just bought those jeans last week and they're already getting too big!!! Gotta love the cycling...

Ok, so that covers that. Now, here I'm going to tread on dangerous ground and be a bit political/religious. Not for long, because I like my life. This whole Islamic cartoon thing: What the hell is going on? I know images of Mohammed are forbidden. Yet practitioners of Islam claim to be peaceful (except the extremists) and there they go, torching embassies, etc. And you expect us to take you serioulsy? By us I mean the majority of the world community. Couldn't they have demonstrated like the protesters in London? No fires, no injuries, just a very well thought out, forceful statement I can respect. Is that really so hard? What am I missing? Please don't think I'm bashing Islam, I'm not. I don't know enough about it, to be honest. Are we headed back to the Crusades/Holy Wars of the Middle Ages? I hope not.

I mean, if the Islamic community is offended by the cartoons (which I haven't seen, so anyone feel free to forward a link to me so I can judge for myself) then don't look. It's like the Bible in every hotel drawer in this country. Don't pick it up if you don't like it. Yes, it's much deeper than that, but maybe we can come to a common ground.

Ok, I said a few posts that I was going to keep clear of politics and religion, mostly. So back to my usual stuff. I've got a few programs Nigella Lawson was on taped, so I'll be watching her after I finish riding. Yeah, Nigella, I could go for her in a big way. Not sure why, but I can dream, right?


Sunday, February 05, 2006

Hey wow

I've seen so many of these 4 letter abbreviations kicking on the web I decided to see what the hell they mean. Well, after a blueribbon panel of experts (2 cats, a stuffed moose named Marion, and a bike named Horse) and I endeavored to research this, I took a variety of tests, and each and every one of them said I was an ENTP. Since I'm so non-versed in this stuff, I'm inclined to believe it. Anyone who knows me or feels they have a read on me from my posts, feel free to comment.

Just a few random race pics from '04

I decided to throw up 3 pics from the 2004 Chris Thater MEmorial Criterium. Two are of me in sprints, the one of me by myself is me "sending some words of encouragement" to my breakaway partner. Actually, I was yelling at him to keep going with me, as we had a good chance to stay away to the end. It wasn't to be.

Am I truly that difficult?

Ok, yet another relationship dies due to my bike. Not much to say. Was the third time around with this person, I love her dearly, but she's upset I have weekends off and work half days MWF and don't see her often. Well, I'm in my bike from when I get home to dark, simple. On full work days I ride my trainer in the basement (I hook up my bike to a magnetic resistance trainer so my bike becomes a stationary bike) a few hours if I don't go insane first. It is boring.

Point being, she knew that this year is really important to me. Last year was a lost year. I won two races in May, then could have taken the rest of the year off, it was that bad. I have a full calendar planned, and I need to stick to my training plan to reach my goals. When you date a competitive cyclist, you're trying to assimilate into a lifestyle. We live to race, work jobs that suit our training schedule, and anything else is a bonus if it works.

I feel bad, but I'm not going to put too much effort into this this time. I don't need the distraction. She lives about 35 miles away, across the Hudson, so it's an hour to get there. There's the phone, but I can't call after 9 because of her housemates are teachers and go to sleep early. I guess I'm married to my bike. Sad in a way. Honestly, I'm just in the mood to concentrate on my bike. The best relationship I could have would be with a woman who races, also. Or at least is a serious recreational rider.

So apparently my now ex said she felt like she was at the bottom of my list of priorities. Sorry, but not so. I could go off here on a tangent, but suffice to say last time she was to my place was before Christmas. Yeah. Equal effort? Hardly. I'm going to miss her, and maybe this will all work out, but I'm focused on my bike from now until December. Maybe she doesn't understand I get paid to do this, and it's about 55% of my annual income. Plus if I win, I get to keep most of the prize money, with the rest being split amongst my team mates who were in my race with me, and vice versa. If I have another bad year, I won't be on a team, and will be bearing the financial burden of a season on my own. Ouch. At $20 a race at least. Multiply that by 60 and you see how that gets pricey, let alone gas, hotels, parts, etc.

Well, time to ride for a second time today. Bit windy, but it makes you stronger. IF I don't ride, I feel guilty, then I get depressed, and what good am I if I'm not happy? Last year I was miserable because I spent a day in New York city instead of riding, so I couldn't enjoy it, and wasn't a whole lot of fun to be around. And who wants me like that? Not I.

Friday, February 03, 2006


Truth a simple little word
That has so much power
But is seldom heard
It lays down foundations of trust
Lets two people become "us"
Sometimes can give a little shelter
When things get rough
I'd rather hear it all
Than half of what's going on
Should I just go off on my own?
It's the feigning that this is norma
lThat we have a relationship at all
The only view that I have is of your wall
You want to protect me how?
By totally shutting me out?
Give me a reason why I should stay around
It's myself I've started to doubt
What's so hard of the truth
Is there something that it'd prove
That by ignoring you can't lose?
It's the feigning that this is normal
Is this any relationship at all
I only see graffitti on your wall

Somethimg I came up with during one of my many dating experiences.

Don't die wondering...

Something a friend of mine said last time I saw him before he was killed in Iraq this past fall. I guess it's how I've lived my life. Things like "I wonder what Lake Placid is like right now..." to which I reply "Let's go, we'll call in to work tomorrow..."

So what am I wondering about? Just a myriad of things I won't bore you with here. I'm more concerned with a fundraising concert I'm playing in for two Girl Scout Troops tomorrow evening. (But I don't get free cookies!!! What's up with that?!!?) First half is classical where I'm playing a Bach Brandenburg Concerto. A friend's Aunt is a private music teacher in Norwalk, CT and got some of her students who attend Juliard to come, so we've got a small chamber orchestra thing happening. The second half of the show is a show of popular music by two bands. One a good local band, the other a quick and desperate attempt by my friends and I to become a band. Hey, we're actually good enough to have played at a bar in Manhattan (Grammercy Park) two weeks in a row. Eric does some pretty good vocals. We do some covers in our own style (like using a Juliard student violinist in place of some guitar solos) and original music. People seem to like us, but we've never played anywhere there wasn't alcohol... Anyway, I sing most lead, (ugh, I know why they need alcohol) but people keep telling me I sound like Rob Thomas, Matchbox Twenty lead singer. Not a bad comparison, I feel. So we do a few of their songs, too. In our own style, of course.

Oh, and I've only been playing piano since December of 2004. By July my teacher (who was amazing, even played in the National COncert Hall in DC while I was studying with her) cut me loose, saying I should have played as a child, for I could have made a living as a classical pianaist. That is something I wonder about...

So what else shall I divulge on this already long post? Ok, personal life stuff. I'm called a serial dater by my friends. I've had all kinds of girlfriends, form an ex Victoria Secret's model to the girl next door literally. I've nothing else right now. I'll probably post some other stuff later, but I need to get my house cleaned so I can have a guilt free weekend.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I was waitn' on a miracle but nohtin showed and they say our new messiah is down at the local bar...

Still have car worries. Turns out a $20 part in the rest of the world is $68 up here with a discount. So instead I'm playing electrical roulette with my car, hoping to fix it tomorrow, banking on the fact it'll make it the 25 miles to work. I did disconnect everything but the major items to keep the car running. Oh, the life of the adventurous.

There's a fine line between courage and stupidity, and I never know which side I'm on...

Love you all, love each other