Sunday, November 26, 2006


Our own self image is a funny thing. If you were to meet me, you'd think I'm a somewhat happy fun loving person. A bit zany, too. Which is correct. However, we all have expectations. Some from other people, many we put upon ourselves. I know in high school all my teachers and relatives expected great things from me. In a conventional sense, I let them down. I didn't graduate college, find a cure, or make a huge difference in the world. I look at 16 years ago and how open the world seemed to me. Now it's a little less open, but more accessible. Figure that one out.

Looking at my life in an unconventional sense, I'd say I exceeded even the wildest expectations. I've had a life that could fill a book, and most people don't believe all the stuff I've done until they talk to my parents or see the pictures. It's kind of funny, I exceeded my own expectations when I raced this season, but fell short a year ago. I didn't win anything this year, but I was a force to be dealt with in many races, and after two more races this weekend, I'm free until January.

Another expectation is with my blog. I rarely get comments, and don't really expect to, but a few of you guys comment on a somewhat regular basis, and I'm always pleasantly surprised by it. I may even go and actually link to to those few faithful readers as a thank you. Don't expect it too soon, though, lol!!!

When I was a squad leader in the army I routinely felt I failed to live up to my expectations. Every time someone in my unit was wounded or killed, I felt like a failure. After years of reflection, I see I didn't fail myself or my squad, as I did my best and most of us beat the odds while we served together.

So what does this have to do with anything? Not much, just think back on your lives and really take an unbiased look. I know now I really didn't fail anyone but myself a few times, but that's ok. Usually I had way too high expectations to begin with.


blackcrag said...

Yes, it's called perfectionist. You're one. And possibly and idealist too.

You know what they say, right? "If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll be stranded in space." Or something like that, I think.

bdogg_mcgee said...

You know, I look back on my life, and what I thought I'd have accomplished by now, and I pretty much missed the mark. But, I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had or the life I have now for anything. :) I'm somewhat of a perfectionist as well, except when it comes to house cleaning!

P.S. - y'all need to post pics of the new red couch!!!

Belle said...

It's really wierd, but, the older I get the more and more I feel like I don't live up to people's expectations and I care less about it. In high school, I met every requirement I needed to in order to graduate, get in to my first choice college...even exceeded them a lot of the time. But then I got in to college and there were so many other people that did the exact same thing and so many of my professors have made me feel like I never meet their's never quite good enough or what they're looking for, yadda, yadda, yadda. Unfortunately, this has made me a little apathetic, BUT, ah well. Lots of living left to do!

Caloi-Rider said...

Have you ever just sat back and thought about how big a place the world really is?
I remember feeling astounded by that realization once--the world is such a big place, and there are so many opportunities ...