Thursday, March 23, 2006

Mirrorism of life

So today wasn't a bad day, for the most part. Work was standard boring and long. I mean really, 4 full days in a row? It's becoming some kind of job or something. But it's more money, so it's ok.

I'm tired. Tired of many things right now. Tired of the games my team has played. Tired of worrying about whether or not I can meet expectations for them. Tired of a housemate who's fucking inconsiderate and is the biggest bitch in the world, rivalling some of my ex girlfriends, surpassing even more. Tired of being halfway across the country from the one person I want to be with right now. Tired of not being there in person. Tired of having been the bigger person and it not having been worth the effort.

I guess I'm whining. What am I doing to change all this, right? I have no fucking clue at all. I know what I want to do, and I have a good idea as to how to accomplish it, but enacting the plan is tougher than I thought it would be. I need to simplify my life. I think I can. This area drains me. Everything looks "so dead" as I was told recently. We rejoice that it's almost 50 degrees here. The weather never used to bother me, but this year my back hurts most of the time. That's what I get for breaking it twice in 5 years, I guess.

Supposedly I told myself this post would be insightful for the 6 or so of you who read my blog, introspective for me. Doesn't seem to be in reality, though. It's time to make things happen. I've got a rest of a life to live, so I need to get going.


LostInTX said...

"OOoh, child, things are going to get easier.." I don't know how sang that but I just remembered it when I read your post. And I like it.

It will get better..being the better person, although not always rewarding in the present moment, pays off in the long run.

34 more days and life should get a whole lot better! :)

Lora said...

Whine away. Some times you need to whine before you can take action. And remember March is always a difficult time in that part of the world, but it's officially spring and soon it will start feeling like it.