Stories of the past

Well, as you know, I was in the Army. So here's an experience of mine. Not too pleasant, and I thought I might have posted it before, but I didn't find it in the archives, so here it is. Sorry for the lack of format, but I had typed it this past fall when I was having a bad time of it after finding out a buddy of mine was killed in Iraq.


So today in the mail I got some of my now deceased friend Prairie's journal from his sis. She typed it up and sent me entries that pertain to me. I'm really happy she did, but sad, too. For me my combat tours are like an alcoholic haze or blackout, I remember very little, just certain details of certain days. It all just became a big blur, but when I read or talk to someone who was there, they mention something that awakes memories, like after a night of partying, where you don't recall much if at all, then you hear something and it comes back.

Like the following which Prairie wrote:

Another tough mission where we fought our way to the extraction point, carrying wounded and dead. Ski's squad was taking it on the chin for us on our left flank, and he and his guys were hitting back just as hard. His radio called for close support, and they directed the gunships as we were boarding. They got on the last chopper out of town, as always, and we started to leave. Suddenly we heard over the intercom words that make us all sick: "We're missing four!!!!! Four unaccounted!!!" First squad was missing four guys, and in the confusion no one made a good head count. As our bird banked hard right, I saw four guys running into the clearing, tracers passing them left and right. They were waving to us to come back. Then I heard "Roger that, we got four on the deck still. We'll keep them covered till you boys can get them." It was the gunship pilots, who turned sharply and started making passes and unloading ordnance wherever tracers came from. For a few moments, our guys were safe. I got on the intercom:"Ok, we got four on the deck, second squad will go in and extract, we need to get in and out, we can't lose a bird or we're all dead. Ski, can you hear me?"

"Roger that, Prairie. Fourth squad ready to cover you guys when you hit the ground, we're going in hot." Ski was amazing. He never refused to go in and do cover/security. His squad was absolutely fearless, for they had to get back on the ground, draw fire and reengage the enemy, cover us, then disengage and get back on the bird without getting overrun. His chopper banked hard, I saw his guys get ready at the doors, and at about 10 or 12 feet off the ground at close to 15 mph they jumped out both sides, deploying themselves in a neat firing line. We were coming in right behind them. Our bird set down as close as possible to our four guys, and myself and two of my squad, Swick and Charts, ran over to them. Charts threw one over his shoulder, Swick grabbed another by the web gear and started dragging, and I helped grab their gear. All of us made it back to the bird and we started to lift off. I put my headset back on. "Where's Ski's squad?" I saw his chopper circling back towards us.

"They said they were in close range with the enemy and to not land for them yet." was my pilot's reply. God, we may have lost a whole squad to get four guys. I couldn't see them as we climbed towards relative safety. I switched channels so I could hear his radio chatter and the chopper intercom. His radio was calling in more close support.

"I need whatever you got on (coordinates) now!!!! We can't disengage until we have a hole punched in them somewhere. We have nowhere to go!!" I was sick to my stomach. One of my best friends and his squad went down there to protect us and now they couldn't get out, like fire fighters trapped in a burning building. I started to pray on the intercom, not even knowing I was speaking. Suddenly all my guys were saying the Hail Mary with me...Out of nowhere some F-18s and then A-10s went rushing by us. We turned to circle at a safe distance. It was like watching hell explode in front of you. We saw the detonations of the bombs, and heard them over the radio, followed by more gunfire, screams, grenades, everything. I felt so worthless, watching and hearing it, but unable to help those guys. The radio crackled again:

"Meet us at the southwest side of the clearing, we're making a run for it, be advised we have one dead, two wounded." While the gunships and planes kept pounding with all they had, we saw Ski's bird go in really hot and low. The pilot almost stood the bird on it's tail to stop in time, but we saw it lift off only seconds later. Ski's squad, the masters of quick boarding, even with dead and wounded.We got back to camp, and waited for Ski's bird to land. His squad got off quietly, eyes blank, uniforms bloodied, bayonets still fixed to their weapons, coated with blood. It was obvious they had fought hand to hand.

"Ski, you ok? You need anything?" He just sat down and cried. Others of his squad walked aimlessly to our area. The aircrew came over and tried to comfort him. I saw he had something on his head, and went to wipe it off, but he swatted my hand away. Normally he'd be quiet, or just kind of walk slowly. This time something really had him rattled. So I went to the chopper and saw why he was upset. Radio, his squad's radioman, was lying dead on the floor of the chopper, shot through the head. Then it hit me. Ski had some of his brain on him and in his hair. Not only had it been close for Ski, but he and Radio were good friends. The only lefties in our company, they used to joke about being a minority, things like that. I helped carry Radio to the morgue, and let Ski recover at his own pace.

So, that's what Prairie wrote. I'd forgotten about that day until now. This is my abridged side of the story, picking up where we heard the four guys were on the deck.

"Are you guys up to covering second squad?" They all nodded yes. "Alright, we need to set up a screen between our guys and them. It's too hot to land, so we're doing a moving deployment, we need to get out as fast as possible. As soon as we hit the ground, fix your bayonets, I think it's going to get close and personal down there. Lock and load, check your ammo!!! Let's go get our guys!" We banked hard, came in low and fast, jumped, fixed bayonets, and took fire immediately. It's really a jumbled mess of memory fragments for me. I recall closing with the enemy, and some hand to hand combat, but not details. We were now stuck with no way out, and fought like cornered animals to find a way out. Somehow Radio kept his cool in all this to shoot with one hand and call in air support with the other. When it looked hopeless we heard some planes and they dropped all kinds of stuff right on top of us, so close that I was knocked to the ground by the concussion. That bought us time to be able to finish off the enemy around us and make a run for it. Except as we were about to get going, I was right next to Radio and as we got up, I heard a buzz and all of a sudden I was wiping his brain off my face and head. I'm so thankful he died instantly. So I picked up the radio, made the last transmission, grabbed radio, and ran to the chopper. The ride home was tough, but it wasn't until we landed that things sank in. I was numb. One of my friends was dead, we had almost been annihilated, we were in hand to hand combat in a struggle for our lives, and now it sank in. I got off the chopper, and took a few dazed steps. My legs went to jell-o, and I sat down and began sobbing. This ain't Kansas anymore, and it was becoming apparent we were involved in something that was way bigger than we ever thought.


Prairie was a friend who only had another 3 years before he could retire. He was killed his first day of his 2nd tour of Iraq. He volunteered to take the place of who he was replacing two days early, because he was the type of guy who wouldn't have been able to live with himself if something were to happen and he could have prevented it. On the way back from a firefight with insurgents another patrol radioed the codeword which means they were about to be overrun. Having been in that position, I can say I would have asked my pilot to divert so we could help out. Doug asked his guys, and they were up for it, so they went in to a really hot fight. When it was apparent they couldn't hold out, the choppers came back to extract everyone. Doug got off his chopper to give the space to a wounded soldier, and saw another wounded soldier trying to get to the chopper. He ran to him, started carrying him, and was shot in the back 3 times, but managed to carry the other guy to the chopper. Doug was pulled in by the crew and he bled out on the way to the triage center. He never thought of himself, and we should all be so lucky to have friends like that.

Technical difficulties

Ok, been absent for awhile due to some problems. Like my housemate changing servers and being convinced a router would get her fined and charged extra. No, that would be a modem illegally installed, brainless...

Anyway, painting at my sister's house and letting my ankle heal, and will be racing the 28th of this month in Hartford, CT. Hope to do well as my dad will be going with me. Also going crazy trying to get in touch with someone who was selling a car. Strange things happening. I need to get a new car so I know what will go with my parents and what will go with me, and how to plan to load the car I have. Arrrggghhh!!!!

Well, back to work, just wanted to let all of you know I am still alive. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be able to get back online at home tonight if I'm in a good mood.

It's called water, pal...

I went to return some bottles at the grocery store today after work. The machines were down, so I had to deal with some college kid who hates his job at the counter. I say that because he was in a class of mine 2 years ago. But it gets better.

Some slimecrawling troll was in front of me with a cartful of bottles. I had 12. He looks at me and says "huh, yeer gonna be here a long time becuz of me, why donchya give me your bottles?" I told him no, I'll wait, as I was like him and had noplace better to be. It left vapor trails over his neolithic skull.

In NY you're supposed to wash out the bottles. When I worked for the precursor to this company, I took great delight in refusing to accept bottles from these troglodytes. They'd be upset because how were they then going to pay for their Schlitz? I'd say "get a job?". Mean, yes. Well, this brainless wonder didn't wash his bottles out, some still had some form of fluids in them, others had god knows what. Eventually he left, sneering at me as if he had gotten one over on me, so I let him keep believing that. Actually, I'd be ok with him not washing out the bottles if he used the water for a bath and to brush his four remaing brown and one green tooth.

Now that I'm done being a snob, what else is going on? MY parents are coming to town on Friday. Sat I've conned them into coming with me to Lake George for a race. Weather forecast: 54 balmy degrees and rain, baby!!! Woohoo!!! My kind of weather. Of course, they're from SC so it'll be like winter to them, but I left a message on the phone to warn them.

I guess I could go on about stuff up here, but I don't want to bore the four people who regularly read this. But tomorrow I do go look at a new car for me! Yay!! IF I get it, it'll be the newest car I've ever owned, a 1997. I'm very excited. Time to retire Sven, and right now he's almost at 249,000 miles. Just a little more...

Later I'll put up pics from this past weekend at Williamstown, MA. The camera has gone from the knapsack to the desk. Progress...

I'm getting old

Well, I raced in Williamstown, MA, yesterday. I had an ok race, since I had no real warmup and wasn't sure if I was going to get into my first race at all. But I did, and I made the best of it. I got 15th from 37 starters. Ok, but still not too impressive. I was in a chase group of three and lost the sprint to the two other guys. That was a wakeup call.

Let me explain something about this race course, of which photos will be put up later. It's beautiful. Which means it's dangerous and tough. Like potentially fatal. Any race where they tie mattresses to trees and signposts at certain corners is a good thing. I think so, anyway. I know of someone who will now never let me return to this race... Well, back on track. It's a very technical course, in that I mean you need to be able to really throw your bike around, dive into super tight corners and not be afraid to hit your pedal on the ground or clip a curb. There is no place on this course where one can relax even for a second. It's exhausting physiacally and mentally. NO daydreaming here, folks, or you're on the deck or in a tree.

The two worst corners are the two fastest, of course, and take quite a bit of courage to get through. One of them is really tight and really fast, and the other is really tight and really really fast. But on with my races.

Since I wasn't warmed up enough, I wasn't able to ever get up to the front. Eventually the pack split, and I wasn't there where I needed to be. But I kept riding as hard as I could, and began to get into a good rhythm, and started to catch people. Eventually, it came down to the lead group of 10, 2 more guys about 1 1/2 minutes back of them, and my group. I kept getting dropped and chasing back on, and kept returning the favor to the other two guys who were with me. So it was definitely some good racing amongst the three of us. Of all things, the other guys had problems matching me on the climb (half of the lap) and we were equal on the descent, just on the windy flat section they were able to reel me in again and again...

Well, when we were told we had one lap to go, the other two guys decided to sit in on me, which means they rode in my draft and refused to pull through. A very well used tactic. So I rode a hard descent, tried to shake them on the flat, then on the climb I went all the way over to the left so they got minimal protection from the wind. I also slowed way down so maybe one of them would come around me. Nope. I had really no options but to try and catch them by surprise. I kind of did when I jumped really hard before the last corner, but it wasn't hard enough.

We came out of the corner and I forced them to go around me on the right side, but I guess I should have gotten one gear higher, I'm not sure. I gave it all I had, but the other two guys got me, though I did a great bike throw at the line to make it close. Well, after the photo review I got 15th.

Ten minutes later I lined up for my next race. Well, remember the ankle pain I had? The cool thing is it's gone, and Sunday was the best I felt in days. But not far into my second race I felt a tinge of pain, and discretion being the better part of valor, I quit. I feel a little guilty, but I didn't want to risk my leg. That might risk my season, or worse, make moving in a month difficult at the least. Besides, I have some races I want to do when I get to TX. Woohoo!!!!

I'm a bit upset

Well, I got cut off by my team. I knew it was coming, but it still pisses me off. I didn't get a top three by the end of last month. Never mind the guys who did all had teammates working for them. Worse, I still haven't gotten my uniforms, and now I'm pretty much over it, so they can keep them. As long as I get my money back. When I post on my team forum, it's like my posts are invisible.

Well, depending on how my ankle is (the left achilles tendon has developed a small knot on the back of my ankle which is a bit painful) I might race Sunday. On a course that last year kicked my ass, but that's because I had only about 200 miles in my legs and I had just finished rebuilding my road bike the night before. Not a good plan. I remember thinking "man, I could really do well here if I had some miles in my legs", and this year I'm close to 3,000 already. Let's get rolling.

It's not a great motivational tool in our sport, but anger does work, and I'm angry. Very. My team has abandoned me, even when I've already done 11 races, and most of the other guys have done maybe 4. Add to that I got a 10th, 14th, 22nd in a pro race, 26th in another race where half the field quit, 34th and highest finish of the team a few weeks ago when I had two teammates, and I feel they owe me. If I had any teammates at the other races things would have been much different, I can assure you. Let's just say that when I last got this pissed I bridged a 12 minute gap by myself to a breakaway of 11 guys in only 28 miles. I finished 5th. Or the time a team director made some desparaging remarks about my ability in a stage race in Kentucky/Tennesee. I won the stage and finished it 19 effin' minutes ahead of everyone. Of course, with all the climbing the two previous days I only moved up to 17th overall, but I made my point. I was never allowed to get away solo or in a group the rest of the season.

Soooooo, if I race Sunday, where I'll have several of the "in" clique of my team, I aim to thrash the field. I won't race against my team, but I'll definitely be working for me.

Well, it's time for bed, I think. One more day down before the big move so the hole in my heart is filled...

Details of another type

I finally got back on my bike tonight. Not a long ride, but it was good enough. I was going to take it easy, then it started to get overcast, the temperature started falling, and it began to spit some rain. Ok, I figured I'd go do a roller coaster type of ride, and that was fine. Except I began to get worried I'd get caught in a rainstorm and that wasn't what I needed then. Turns out, it would have been better.

I was really going well, as I had a little tailwind and was in a mood to get home, when a small deer jumped out in front of me. I hit the brakes, swerved right, we both had "deer in headlights" looks I'm sure, and I hit his left shoulder with my left hand/wrist, jamming it. Both of us looked at each other for a second, for I had stopped a few feet further down the road. I started to talk to the little guy (maybe a year old judging by the size) so he wouldn't freak out, and he took off. So did I. I think I jammed my wrist, but it's feeling a lot better now. That's the third deer I've hit on my bike in 17 years. Hmmmm....

As for other details, let's just say this: Steph is an amazing woman who has melted my heart, superlatives fail me in describing how I feel for her, she's drop dead stop all time and motion in the universe beautiful without a doubt, I hate to be away from her, and I'm going crazy waiting for the day to arrive when I move down to Austin. Hope that answers everything.

PINs, passwords, and goodbyes

Ok, I had one of the most amazing weekends of my life. Nothing went too wrong, if at all, and I'm glad it all worked out as it did. Soooo, to act one.

The love of my life came to visit. No secret there. Of course, she made it an adventure getting here by taking the subway from Jamaica to Penn Station. But she got there, and got on the train to Poughkeepsie just fine. I got down to pick her up, walked in the waiting room (I had just finished buttoning my shirt) and was a little overwhelmed. Pics do not do her any justice. So after the initial shock wore off things were great. We went to dinner, had a nice night to soak each other in, and woke up on Friday trying to figure out if it was really happening or if it was a dream.

Friday I got my hair cut (yes, after 6 months) and we went to Woodstock to check out some shops. Then we got some yummy pizza, got home and got ready for Philly. Saturday we went to Philly, hit Leah's place for her birthday party and had a great time. Prior to the party I rode my bike and trainer in her back yard for awhile, we then went to check in at the hotel (where there was a prom, but thankfully it wasn't noisy later on) ate, and came back to the party. I met some interesting people, yes I did. It was cool, and I enjoyed my three glasses of wine.

About that wine, we'll get to it later. One word of advice, though, when you go to a party and the kitchen has an island, don't let yourself get trapped by the refrigerator. You won't have any chance of getting out unless you vault the sink. Take my word for it, it might be the only option... But it was way too much fun for this old guy.

Well, back to the hotel we got at about 1 or so, and we overslept by over an hour. Now, Philly to Binghamton is a bit of a drive. When you need to make up an hour and a half, it becomes an adventure. Deciding it was easily possible, I set off in hot pursuit of the clock. We mad it from Cherry Hill, NJ to Binghamton, NY in about 2 hrs and 25 minutes, including stopping for a tank of gas. Yes, I still have the racing driver in me...190 miles or so...yes, I broke 100mph for quite a bit of the way.

Anyway, I was dehydrated and a little stressed when I arrived with 10 minutes to spare. So I quickly got my bike together, got ready, and rode to the line. I survived, but I was definitely at about 85%. I tried to recover between my races, but with about 3 laps to go in the second race I was dehydrated and could feel myself going fast, so I quit at the top of the hill just past the finish line. Next time will be better, I'm sure.

On the way home we had dinner with some old friends of my sweety's, then came home and fell asleep. Today I took her to the airport, which was pretty tough for us both.

If you want to see pics of the weekend, you'll have to wait, as I didn't use my camera basically at all.

I need structure

I haven't touched my bike since last week, actually before the weekend. And this Sunday I'm doing at least one race, maybe two. I know the course, it's pretty easy, and I have a few thousand miles in my legs, but I need to get some good workouts in between then and now. Add to that my honey is coming to visit for the weekend, we're going out of town and swinging by the races on the way home.

That's about all I have tonight, I need to do all kinds of things tonight and tomorrow.

Just a stolen little survey type thingy ma bob

Ten years ago, it was 1996.

Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since then.

1) How old were you? 24

2) Where did you go to school? Was trying to go to IU pre law

3) Where did you work? I was a standby army solider

4) Where did you live? In various barracks or my apartment in Indianapolis, IN

5) How was your hairstyle? Short, the typical Army buzz

6) Did you wear braces? No

7) Did you wear contacts? Yes

8) Did you wear glasses? Yes

9) Who was your best friend? Terp, RIP

10) Who was your girlfriend? Too many

11) Who was your celebrity crush? Hmmm, dead, Jayne Mansfield, alive Minnie Driver

12) Who was your regular-person crush? Staff Sgt Eileen Davis, from headquarters

13) Were you a virgin? LOL no

14) How many piercings did you have? 5 in my ears

15) How many tattoos did you have? 1 that was already removed

16) What was your favorite band/singer? U2

17) Had you smoked a cigarette? no

18) Had you gotten drunk? I was in the Army, went to Catholic school...enough said

19) Had you driven yet? Yes

20) If so which car? Many

21) Which of your pets were still alive? None

22) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 2006? Not at all, but I'm not sad about it. I honestly thought I'd be dead by now.

Civil war

That's what's on my hands right now at work. At least three different factions vying for control, even plotting to get the GM fired. I'm not going into detail, but the GM has gone to the far side of the line in the areas of ethics, discrimination, favortism, and a few others. Add to that she's been away at other locations for the past two weeks mostly, and there's a power vaccuum that isn't filled. It's a bad situation. Thank god I'm leaving soon enough. You know it's bad when I'm the voice of reason...

Strange

I posted a new post awhile ago, but it's nowhere to be found. Hmmmm....

Not much this time

So I didn't ride this weekend. AT ALL! The weather sucked and I had other things to do, like sleep and get things to the ballet storage unit for the yard sale. I alos was trying to find a car for myself. My parents found one in NYC but it's gone beyond the max price, so I bet that's out. I'm bummed because it would have been perfect. Oh well, back to the beginning.

That's it. Thursday's the big day. Can't wait!!!!

I'm beginning to think there's more to this than meets the eye...

Am I crazy or is this really really really coincidental?

http://www.dailyfreeman.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16518005&BRD=1769&PAG=461&dept_id=74969&rfi=6

Yes, I am ecstatic

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?userid=mgy44&gallery_id=363612&image_id=67
ME climbing a 23% hill on a dirt road last week. I PAID to do this??!!!!??

Ok, we all know I love to race my bike. We all know I love to write about it. Well, first of all, I am going to let you in on a little secret. I have a rider's diary on a site called Spokepost.com, and I also do feature articles for them. I even get pics put up once in a great while. (Please scroll to the bottom of the title page to see my pic of Chris Horner at the Cyclocross Nationals this past December. Shameless, I am.) But it's official. Big news to me. Lake George NY is finally hosting a bike race!

This is big why? Well, the Adirondacks are my favorite place for many reasons. Though I'm not a huge fan of Lake George, (it's a bit too touristy for me) it is in the Adirondack Park, and I haven't raced inside the blue line in many years. Plus, it's a criterium!!!! MY specialty, only 31 feet of elevation change in .95 miles! I'm so psyched!!!!! The finish is a slightly downhill sprint, which favors me. YES!!!!!! I damn well better get a top three (win) or I should hang up my bike. This is so cool.

Now I know this means nothing to most of you out there, but this is my race schedule for the remainder of my time up here in the wonderful northeast.

April 30 Binghamton cicuit race Binghamton, NY
May 7 Williamstown Criterium Williamstown, MA (2 races in a row, woohoo!!!)
May 13 Lake George Criterium Lake George, NY
May 28 Hartford Downtown Criterium Hartford, CT (2 races again, I love to hurt myself)
June 10 Nutmeg State Games New Britain CT (3 races in a day, one of my favorite events)
June 17 Cyclonauts Criterium Stafford Springs, CT (The big test, 4 20 mile races in one day)

That will be all, folks. Other than 2 races I hope to return for in New Hampshire and Maine in mid September, my racing in the northeast will be as a guest, only. June 18th, launch day...

All things come in threes

http://www.dailyfreeman.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16512484&BRD=1769&PAG=461&dept_id=74969&rfi=6

This guy never raced, he was just someone you saw around all the time. Hit and run, how can you do it or not know?

So what is it exactly that I'm doing again?

Funny I should ask that question. Here's the skinny on 'tings. Riding some, getting my place ready for THE VISIT, and other sundry tasks. Like ripping all my remaining cds to my pc. Then I'll make copies. Well, I won't get rid of my U2 or Matchbox Twenty or Poe stuff, that's just crazy talk.

See, I realized that I listen to a select few artists on a regular basis. Then there are those albums you only like several songs from. See where this is going? I'm taking the songs I want, making cds of those, etc. Then I'm selling all the original cds back to the record store. Record store, haha!

Next I'm cleaning up and getting rid of stuff, because I'm leaving this downtrodden state in the near future. NY is the Vampire State, not the Empire State, unless you think of the evil Empire in Star Wars, where it becomes wholly appropriate... I mean, $3.05 for a gallon of regular? Come on! And the jobs pay less up here because there isn't much work, the weather sucks, the roads are falling apart, I mean, what do people see in this place?

To add to the fun, I'm looking for a new to me car. Since Sven, The Black Marauder is on his last legs and won't be able to pass inspection when it expires June 30th I have been perusing all the ads and ebay listings up here, and my parents are doing the same in Hilton Head, SC. I'm looking for a well maintained Honda Accord ideally, but a Civic or a Toyota Camry would do, also. I need to then get a roof rack for my bikes, etc. My trusty Saab 900s from 1988 is no longer the confidence inspiring auto it used to be. The end of an era. 246,798 miles as of today, will it break 250,000? I'll keep you posted.

Riding and getting ready to relish when I tell my housemate I'm leaving, as well as my job. The things I look forward to sometimes...

So Saturday wasn't fun, maybe it was, I can't decide

I did my race. I was really confident going into it. I'd been riding well, getting some good mileage and results, and well, it wasn't a great day. It's not that I had an off day, I just couldn't have done much more, or much differently. So, I have to deal with my physical limitations.

I can't climb super steep hills very well. Part of the problem this time was that I didn't have a low enough gear. The other part of the problem is that at 5'10-11" and 166lbs, I'm still a little too heavy to have a good power to weight ratio. Which means I should probably not eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream ever again, but once in awhile you just gotta have it.

The race was hard. The course was amazing, 55 miles of up, down, turn, turn yourself inside out racing. I was actually pretty frisky in the beginning of the race, riding off the front as a test on the first dirt road section (oh how that was cool) and leading the race through town at the end of a short circuit. Then we hit the big climbs. I was ok on the first one, staying up front. The second dirt climb was another story. It was about 23% and dirt. Stand up, your rear wheel slips, sit back and your front wheel comes up off the ground. I was able to get up it, but not much more than that.

Once over that nightmare I chased really hard and caught one of my two team mates in the race with me. The other one was way behind us. We worked together and kept catching people until we had a chase group of over 20 people. Of course, once a group gets that big, you have the brainless wonders who just sit in and don't do their share of work. Then those jerks have the nerve to attack us. I was having none of that, since I'm still convinced that the second group ahead of us was the lead of the race at one point.

But, I decided to blow out the deadwood and warned my team mate Rob that next time through I was going to do a "hellacious pull". Which is exactly what I did. I jumped the pace up from 23mph to over 32mph for over 2 miles. Not only did we gain quite a bit of ground on the leaders, we also blew out all the slackers. But then the impetus left my group as the race wore on and people got tired and resigned themselves to just finishing.

After all the dirt sections, the thigh burning climbs, the searing sun (it was over 8o in the sun and no humidity, and the air was over 70, all this only a few miles from Vermont) I was in a group heading for the finish. We came into town and I got boxed in during the sprint, so had to settle for 4th in my group and 34th overall out of 63 starters. But we were 14 minutes behind the winner!!! How embarassing. Shameful, even.

Sunday was brunch with my brother's family and aunt and uncle, then back to my brother's house. I ended up taking more things to the storage unit for the ballet fundraiser with my brother, and then on the trampoline in the backyard. My nieces and I were a little crazy, but that's what 9 and 11 year olds are supposed to do, right?

Pretty simple. Now it's time for me to get more sorting and removing done. Only 10 more days until bliss...

Here's a link to a pic from a photographer's website from the race. I'm on the green bike leading the group, and yes, I know my lack of a tan is blinding, as pointed out by someone...

http://www.printroom.com/ViewgalleryPhoto.asp?userid=mgy44&gallery_id=363628&image_id=80

So Saturday will be fun...

Big time race Saturday. 55 mile loop, lots of dirt roads and steep climbs. Not my type of race usually, but this year I'm riding so much better I'm very optimistic. Now let's just see if my team comes through and delivers my uniforms before the race and if they can deliver some support.

As you can see, this will be an interesting day. The forecast is for 65 and sun, though I think rain would make this race epic and titlt the scales in my favor. I'm considered a rain rider, due in part to the fact that I ride just as hard in the rain, many times even faster and it tends to shed the more timid riders afraid of crashing. Either way it'll be fun, and I hope to do well.

Oh yeah, one other thing. I see only two souls posted a comment on my last post. How is that? One of the most serious posts of my blog, and I figured many would weigh their opinions on it, but I might be delusional in thinking that many people actually read this blog on a consistent basis.

Lastly, congrats to my high school classmate Lora who just gave birth to a baby boy!!! Woohoo!! I'm so happy for you I could cry!!!!! What a journey to get here you've had.

Oh, I can feel the icey stares already...

I'm going to alienate many people right now by doing something that just needs to be done. Attack hybrid vehicles. Those gas electric darlings of the media and ecolovers everywhere. Guess what, folks? They're more expensive to operate, and they use more resources than a standard car does. So in reality they are actually doing more harm than good. It feels so good to say that. Let me expound upon my little thesis here.

First, the mileage isn't quite what the "experts" claimed at first. Anyone recall when Toyota had to revamp the mileage for the Pious I mean Prious by lowering it 20%? I won't confuse anyone with the facts... Yet I digress. So the cars don't quite get the mileage we thought they would. They're still better for the enviroment, right? Wrong!!!!!

In the short term, they are better for the enviroment. In the long term, they are the worst thing we could have short of a nuclear reactor in each car with spent rods. What is the hybrid heart? A massive toxic waste dump of a battery!!! Bottom line is, the stuff in those batteries is so dangerous that 1) some first responders have put into writing the fact they won't do anything at a hybrid accident because they don't have the proper hazmat gear!!!! Wow. 2) There is no way to dispose of these batteries yet, and recycling isn't economically viable, so the batteries will sit in some facility becoming a bigger and bigger toxic threat to wherever they are. Feel warm and fuzzy about helping the enviroment still?

Now for what really matters. Cost. You get a tax break if you buy a hybrid. But it's offset by a few years of operation. Philadelphia found it cost more to have a fleet of hybrids. Now for you and I, I don't think we have that worry. Yet what about when the battery dies? A quick call to the local Toyota dealer and Ford dealer confirmed what I had read last year in Motor Trend magazine. First, the battery isn't a warrantable item. Second, you're better off throwing away the car. A Ford Escape battery is about $7200.00!!!! How can you even think of putting that money into a car that's 6 or 7 years old? How can you hope to resell a car with that kind of money needed to keep it going? A true disposable car. That's great for the enviroment.

Ok, enough Ford bashing, what about Toyota? Well, here we go. Brock Yates of Car and Driver sums it up pretty well:
He says it's time to "talk a little reality." He reports that "a Prius owner would have to drive at least 66,500 miles annually for five straight years, or gasoline would have to soar to 10 bucks a gallon, to equal the cost of operating a cheaper, conventional Corolla," which costs $3,000 less.

Wow, so I pay more for a car that is more expensive to operate, and it doesn't really help the enviroment? Where do I sign up? I mean, at least Toyota batteries are only about $5300.00. Now I can sleep tonight. Oh, and one other thing, disposal fees are most likely to come from the EPA for the batteries, and we all know that the dealers will never bear that cost. Somewhere in the bowels of the EPA, bureaucrats are probably already scheming up an entire Superfund SWAT team to give hybrid owners a nasty shock for dumping dead batteries.

Toyota's research found that hybrid buyers want bigger "badges" to tell the world, "Look at me, I am a virtuous environmentalist." Per the Toyota website.

When a computer needs to die

I had a great post earlier. I fell asleep after being on the phone. It's gone. It'll take way too much effort to recreate, because it was definitely original. So here we go with the condensed version.

I rode. Fast. Got a good tan going on for up here at this time of year. Came home, as usual was hungry.

I made toast, 4 glorious slices of toast with cinnamon and sugar. And real butter! Yum yum yum yummy!!! Then I had some hot dogs. This is where the interest comes in. Along with my bread, the hot dogs, I had to choose some toppings. So I grabbed spicy brown mustard. Always a crowd pleasing favorite. But I needed to add something, something to give the hot dogs "pop". Since these were run of the mill hot dogs, not snobby types, they definitely had no "pop".

So I recalled a wonderful conversation with my paramour about mayo on a hot dog. Well, I do the mustard and mayo thing on my sandwiches, so why not? It was great, but it still didn't have all the "pop" I was looking for. SO I went into the refrigerator and found Garlic Ambrosia spread. Yes, and not just any, but organic. With the little SOS symbol on the side, whatever that means. Think of the irony. Hot dogs, organic garlic ambrosia. Heheh. Made by a company called Hand To Mouth Foods, I believe. Amazing stuff, it is.

Well, with mayo down one side and garlic ambrosia down the other, I must say it was the best hot dog I've ever had. If you know me and how many years I've taken off my life because of how many hot dogs I've eaten, well you know it's a lot.

I probably should eat better, but I can't really afford to. Funny how that works. Well, I could afford to, and I'm starting to make the changes to make it happen. Imagine how fast I'd be if I ate properly...

On a much more sad note, I ran over and killed a neighbor's dog today on my way to work. He darted out and I had hit him before I could even hit the brakes. I went to the house (at 720 am) and knocked on the door. The father and I went out to the road, and their dog was definitely dead. I apologized, but the family was really nice to me, saying he got loose, and it was an accident, so to not blame myself. I appreciated that. The kids came out and we had moved the dog to the front yard, and they all cried and hugged him. After that we had a moment of silence and then the father led us in a prayer for him. I called him Mutley. A very sweet and lovable mix. Always happy to see you. When I went out on my ride the father saw me, waved, and yelled, "It's ok, he's running where there are no cars now!". I smiled at that. But I still cry about the reality.

Really, it just might be spring...

Today the weather was good, which is good, because it put me in a good mood, and that's a good thing that will create good memories. I just wanted to see how much goodness I could get away with, or would it be goodies?

On to more serious things. First, my last post was about Saul Raisin. He's still in a coma, but the danger to his life has passed. Now it all rests on the next 48 hours or so to see how he fares. No one really knows. He was wearing a helmet and still he's now in a coma. Sooo, I guess it's about time for a public service announcement.

I have crashed quite a few times. It works out to about once a season. Bad crashes are every few years. Those are the ones where I need to go to the ER. I worked it out one time and I crash about every 6000 miles. I've always had a helmet on when I crashed, thankfully. So, here are a few pics of one of my helmets and the handlebars after a crash in New Britain, CT in 2004. I kept them because it's a great visual aid when people tell me helmets aren't needed. Yes, those handlebars were sliced by the spokes of another bike.

The helmet actually started to melt (there's still some of my hair stuck in it) from impact, and it split in three places. I hope anyone who rides and reads this remembers to always wear their helmet.







Now for the good stuff. Ha, there's that word again. Went for a ride after sleeping in way later than planned. Since I wasn't really fueled up too well, I am sure I burned quite a bit of fat off me. Good thing. So I did just under 60 miles and averaged 19.8 mph. Including starting out by going over Minnewaska Mountain. Not a bad ride, even though my climbing isn't quite what it should be...

Then I came home, talked to my favorite Texan, got cleaned up after eating, and went to the local Stewart's (a chain of gas station/convenient store that seem to cater to six green tooth missing troglodytes) and got some food since I was out. Needed the bread for toast, because if you ever meet me, you'll figure out quickly how I love my toast...and hot dogs (vestiges of my youth)...and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Yes, I bought a half gallon on an impulse buy. Yummy. I don't eat much at a time, because I tend to get sick from it, but it was a tasty treat. And now I need to go eat more because I'm hungry again. Argh!!!

It's not always fun and games in cycling

http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/9701.0.html

Well, since I have some time

I have a bit of time before I need to get ready for work, so I decided to scan some yearbook pics. Ahh, 1989 and 90, what fun times. Not always, but you know...

Look at that! Lora and I were next to each other in our yearbook portraits. Birthdays a day apart, and a page apart. Yup, I am grasping here. So there I was as a junior. I look so respectable. Hee hee!!!

And one more to show that I have been on bikes forever. Notice the lack of a helmet (I was supposed to wear it, but didn't for awhile) the toeclips on the pedals (those strappy things that were instruments of torture) and the federally mandated reflector on the front (Which came off shortly after this pic). Sorry for the low quality, but you can only do so much with a scanner considering the dpi of the printing.

I'm about to go off, so don't read if you don't like profanity

I'm fucking pissed. My bank has totally screwed up my account. The mother fucking slack jawed rat bastards have returned checks that should have cleared to the places I wrote them, then went ahead and paid them but charged me overdraft fees anyway. Apparently simple math is beneath these damn troglodytes, so yet again I get to waste my lunch tomorrow to go straighten thes dumbasses out.

When I first opened my account, I ordered checks as any person would. 10 business days, the lady said. Well, four weeks and nothing. 6 weeks and nothing, and the idiots didn't want to do anything about it. Finally I get them to reorder the checks, and when they check the info, they have my street address, not my mailing address. Duh!!! Plus my name was spelled wrong on my first debit card. Of course, I had handed my license to the lady to set up my account with, and I know in Kingston most people aren't even close to the brightest bulb on the chandelier, but obviously reading isn't one of the requisites for working in a bank.

I finally got a new debit card (funny how it went to my mailing address, isn't it?) and then finally got my new checks ordered. Can you believe that they are misspelled? I give up, and now this. I hope the same idiot who defied the odds of evolution waits on me tomorrow. It's about time Darwin's theory caught up with it...

Just a postin' fool

Ok, here are my lame rankings as of 3/18/06 for my racing. Not too exciting, but I figured I'd share. Master categories start at age 30. Sad, yes.


Your USCF Criterium Master Standings
1 Rank in your zip code (12443)

98 Rank in your state (NY)

56 Rank in your riding age (34)

170 Rank in 5 year age range (30-34)

779 Rank in 10 year age range (30-39)

2801 Overall Rank

Your USCF Criterium Cat 4 Standings
1 Rank in your zip code (12443)

7 Rank in your state (NY)

19 Rank in your riding age (34)

77 Rank in 5 year age range (30-34)

161 Rank in 10 year age range (30-39)

357 Overall Rank

Your USCF Road Race Cat 4 Standings
1 Rank in your zip code (12443)

69 Rank in your state (NY)

32 Rank in your riding age (34)

124 Rank in 5 year age range (30-34)

274 Rank in 10 year age range (30-39)

620 Overall Rank

Remember those pics I spoke of?

Here they are.




And if you think this is bad, check out the inside of the glasses!

No one said cycling was a clean pastime.

Next up, yearbook pics!! Heh heh...

My how things have stayed the same

I went to go for a ride yesterday. Got my bike out of the car and the back tire was flat. So then I had to pull the gears off that wheel and put them on another whell I had, but then I had to put a tire and tube on that wheel... Argh! I couldn't use the old wheel because it was a tubular, where we glue the tire to the wheel, and the tube is sewn inside it. The backup wheel is a clincher, like most people ride, which has a seperate tire and tube. Well, it set me back a few minutes.

So I decided to change my route and got going, but the new tire was somewhat defective (or the yahoo who put it on was...) and it had a hop in it. Not comfortable at all, so I dealt with it for the ride, but it's coming off today. Anyway, I ripped off a 32.5 mile ride in 1 hour 31 minutes, which turns out to be an average of 20 something miles per hour. Pretty darn fast. I had a burst where I pretend I'm in a race and am sprinting for intermediate prizes and got up to 38 mph on the flat. Not shabby, it's coming along...

All this motivation is because I can feel my Sweetie's breath on my neck now that she has a bike. Yup, I'll bet she blows me away when we go for our first ride together, but I'll love every second of it. I'd be a fool not to.

I'm still alive

I survived this week. Working crazy hours, cleaning my storage unit out, and getting slammed in my race yesterday. The work threw me off my routine, the storage unit wore me out, and the race spanked me hard. I just woke up, and it's noon. Granted, I lost an hour, but still...

In an interesting turn of events, I have decided to donate everything of value to the Anne Hebard School of Ballet for their fundraising yard sale. They need to raise thousands to just break even for last year. Long story. Anyway, I figure that my stuff is now out of my hair, it's going to help a good cause, and we all come out ahead. Simple. Except that carrying massive air conditioners by yourself isn't exactly the easiest thing to do, and it definitely hinders race performance.

Cool little seguai (sp?) there. So Sat I went to Coxsackie for the third and final race of the Johnny Cake Series. This time they added a decent hill to the course. Not a wall, but enough to make it interesting. The wind was part of the many factors that came into play.

The race started off sunny and about 73 degress. The wind was from the Southwest and was warm. About 14 miles into the race, some rain started falling here and there. 10 minutes later we rode into a wall of ice cold rain, and the air temp went down to about 40. The roads were grimy, my sunglasses were fogging up, and I was freezing. Visibility was so bad I was looking for race numbers on guys and trying not to hit them. Fun times. At some point my computer got soaked through and was reading 0mph. So I was screwing around with it not paying attention to the race when a gap opened up in front of me. I figured someone would go around me and close it, as I was only halfway back in the field. Wrong.

I was last! Most people bailed on the race and were heading for the warm showers. So I chased like crazy and began catching the group at the base of the climb. I'm a better climber than I have been in years this year, but this wasn't good. I gritted my chattering teeth and worked back to relative safety on the tail end of the field. I was thinking of bagging it, too, but since I caught back on I figured I'd just ride with the pack until we went by the finish line. Of course we got to the finish and it was only one more lap, so I decided to tough it out. As the pics show, it was very dirty. The socks were originally white at the top, and the glasses were basically only keeping grime from getting into my contacts, as well as all light in the universe...

I worked back up to the front of the group and rode the rest of the race in to the finish, and put in another good sprint to probably get a top 15, since we were sprinting for 8th place, I believe. I immediately headed for the showers and comfort. Then it was off to my brother's house to sort my junk, which I did.

25 more days until the other half of my heart arrives!!!!!

As for the pics, I use the pic uploader and it won't effin' work!!!! Argh!!!

I need sleep

It's 445 am and I just got home awhile ago from work. We did inventory, and I went in at 6pm. Blah! At least it's over. Finally saw the results for my race Saturday. Turns out more guys were ahead of me than I thought. I got 22nd. A little disappointed, but I got 10th in the field sprint, and starting from second to last, that's encouraging. I passed about 20 people in under 300 meters. Let's just say that's nearly impossible in this sport usually, and I've done it two weeks in a row. We'll see how this week goes.

So my Sweetie is coming to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm speechless with excitement.

It's time for a change

Immigration. Touchy and I know I said I'll try to stay away from politics and other incendiary issues, but I have to on this one. This is my opinion.

First, we don't need to waste money building a fence along the Mexican border. IF you want to get through fences, you do. All it'll do is create chokepoints. No matter where I was in the army, our perimeters were never 100% secure.

I would love to see a real study done showing how much illegal immigrants contribute to our economy. I think most would be surprised. I support letting the immigrants stay if they have a job and pay taxes. Some say we should allow them to stay after paying a fine, which appears to me as a backhanded way of getting them out. The jobs most of these people have don't pay enough to let them pay a fine. Hmmm. How about their "fine" is to take some type of courses to help them here in our country? Kind of like a first step to citizenship if they want it. If not, then they should be able to get a resident alien status for let's say 5 years, then would have to reapply when the term is up.

But what do we do with the ones who might try to come in the future? How do we solve that? Simple, we don't. Let's open our borders more to Canadians and Mexicans. Take the money out of smuggling people in trucks, etc. Maybe have them go to a reception center for a few days or a week. There they could register, be given info to contact agencies to help with jobs, and maybe be set up with some food vouchers or something.

Ok, let me know what your thoughts are. Maybe we can come up with a plan that will be better than anything COngress can.

Didn't know him, but it still touches me deeply

IRL driver Paul Dana dies after crash

http://sports.yahoo.com/irl/news;_ylt=AtscMrYcEBa2b_adQSjHir3Rv7YF?slug=ap-irl-homesteadcrash&prov=ap&type=lgns

I don't know if all of you know that I raced cars and bikes simultaneously for awhile. It's a beautiful sport, but beauty is deadly, as the saying goes. He died living his dream. In a way, we all could be so lucky.

I pray for him and his family. I feel like a part of me has been torn, even though I never met this person.

Good day

Well, after yesterday, I had a great day today. I woke up, and at the last minute I decided to drive to Coxsackie and race. OF course, I got there and my category was filled up, so the promoter bumped me up into the race with the pros. This was cool, except I had no real idea if I could handle it. But I changed, got my bike set up, and went to the line. We went off, and I was thinking "ok, so I have an extra lap of 6 miles, and we'll be going really fast, and I need to just hang on as long as possible." Which is precisely what I did.

Our first 8 miles went by in about 15 minutes, and I don't recall seeing the slow side of 30mph the entire first lap. Fun but tiring. Well, after an attack stuck, we settled down. The only drama really was when a guy rode into my front wheel and his rear derailleur bent my front wheel. Now I have to replace a spoke, which is aggravating. But my wheel was so wonky that even with the brake open all the way it was rubbing a little bit. After a quick glance I figured it was safe, and rode the last 21 miles like that.

I tried one attack, but quickly gave up that idea. Otherwise I felt good. At one point I wasn't able to close a gap, and a Canadian pro put his hand on my back and shoved me ahead. Merci beaucoup. Finally we were getting ready for the sprint, the dreaded 300 meter slog. I had cleaned my bike so it was working flawlessly, I knew where I wanted to be, but when I looked around I saw I was second to last. Not much I could do about it at that point.

I had the right gear, was out of the wind, and when the sprint started I stayed out of the wind and blew by the back half of the field as it split, and motored through the front half of the field, and I think I got third or fourth in the field sprint. Had I been up in the front 5 guys I'd probably have won it. Again, I'm really happy with how things went. I now know I can hang with the big guns, and even put some digs in on them, too. Great boost for my confidence. Thankfully no racing tomorrow, as I need a day of recovery. Plus I got called into work today. Figured I was going to go by Kingston anyway, so why not.

So why did I race today? Well, I hadn't really made up my mind until I woke up this morning. I felt really good, and feel even better now. I think part of it is also the attitude that I've been sidelined by disease before, and I won't let any illness dictate what I can or can't do. It was a get back up after falling thing. But I know my body well enough to realize I can't do another intense effort like I did today for awhile. I just need to recover from the race and the illness.

Other than that, not much. Just making plans for where I'll be next.

Ok, so I was whining, then I get my comeuppance...

I had a horrible night last night. Started throwing up violently, and it was a lot of blood. Not much bothers me, but I tend to freak out if blood starts making an appearance where it shouldn't. So after a little too much of it, I drove to the ER. Thirty miles later there I was, looking like a vampire who just dined.

So after a bit of investigation and some imagery, the doc gives me some industrial strength stomach coater and says they'll be in touch. I go home and wait so I can go the radiology place. Apparently there was a shadow in one of my xrays in my chest. OH joy.

After a discussion with my sweetheart (and if you don't know who that is, well you probably would ask me how subway tokens I want for 75 cents when I give you a dollar...) I was off to the radiologist for every type of imagery that can possibly be billed to insurance.

I'm used to this type of stuff. When I'm there, all other work stops, as I have priority. But I still hate it. I know what the workers are thinking and saying about me. It's funny, when you're sick you want time, especially if it's serious, but when I'm waiting time can't move fast enough.

I know I have two answers coming my way. It's nothing too serious, just something I picked up, or it's really bad and you need to get in the hospital now. I've been through lots of stuff in my life, but I hate the waiting. It's the one time I feel so alone. I mean, it's me and a disease, possibly. No one can fight it for me. Sometimes I wonder if I have the fight in me if it comes again. Ironic how my astrological sign has tried to kill me. Cancer. Go figure. I have few true friends, so I face these times by myself, at least in person.

I waited for all the readings to be done. I was ready for it, the news I'd be starting all over again another treatment cycle. I had time to think what I'd tell people again, what I needed to finish up in case I didn't win. And I was getting really angry inside. Not the why me, but the this is going to cause so much pain to people I don't want to hurt anger. I tried to read, but Time is boring when you really don't care about some obscure problem in Arkansas. I went back to thinking. And I got a clear look at my life, because I wasn't sure if it was ever going to be the same.

Finally I got the news. I had an infection in my trachea and esosphagus. Right where they seperate. So bad it was open and bleeding. Oddly it doesn't hurt at all, but it was causing me to clear my throat constantly. Some keflex was prescribed, and I spent my grocery money on my copays and meds. Go insurance.

So I had time to think about a lot of things.

Mirrorism of life

So today wasn't a bad day, for the most part. Work was standard boring and long. I mean really, 4 full days in a row? It's becoming some kind of job or something. But it's more money, so it's ok.

I'm tired. Tired of many things right now. Tired of the games my team has played. Tired of worrying about whether or not I can meet expectations for them. Tired of a housemate who's fucking inconsiderate and is the biggest bitch in the world, rivalling some of my ex girlfriends, surpassing even more. Tired of being halfway across the country from the one person I want to be with right now. Tired of not being there in person. Tired of having been the bigger person and it not having been worth the effort.

I guess I'm whining. What am I doing to change all this, right? I have no fucking clue at all. I know what I want to do, and I have a good idea as to how to accomplish it, but enacting the plan is tougher than I thought it would be. I need to simplify my life. I think I can. This area drains me. Everything looks "so dead" as I was told recently. We rejoice that it's almost 50 degrees here. The weather never used to bother me, but this year my back hurts most of the time. That's what I get for breaking it twice in 5 years, I guess.

Supposedly I told myself this post would be insightful for the 6 or so of you who read my blog, introspective for me. Doesn't seem to be in reality, though. It's time to make things happen. I've got a rest of a life to live, so I need to get going.

Things are working out, I beleive

Got the storage unit fixed, am cleaning out my house to make room for the stuff, and I think I can pull this off. It all depends on whether or not my brother wants to store some stuff until his yard sale. We'll see.

So my insane housemate has uninvited me from my house this Saturday. For a "family only" gathering, which turns out to be her birthday. I'm going to be in Coxsackie for a race until the early afternoon, but then where do I go? I'll stop by my brother's house for a bit, but I'm about to send her an email to let her know that I'll be coming home when I damn well please, or she can deal with me deducting a hefty sum from the rent. I don't pay her to not to be able to come home. I have a race in CT the next day, and have to leave by 645 at the latest. Which means I need to be lying comfortably in my bed by 10. Not asleep, but in bed. This is going to be cool.

That's all I have, and it's not much.

Ohhh, do I have to...

So I told you about emptying my storage unit. Today I go over and my code doesn't work. What's up with that? Now I have to waste time on my lunch tomorrow so they can fix a problem that shouldn't be existing? The poor idiots better get it fixed in about 2 minutes or I'll tear the solution out of their souls... Yes, I'm angry. I'm paid to the end of themonth, and am almost tempted to tell them they owe me an extra day since it was inaccessible to me while I was in good standing. Again, reaching down and tearing it out of their souls...

So what's in there? Well, a microwave, silverware, dishes, books, some magazines, bike stuff that's a bit extra, and some furniture. Now I had a much bigger storage unit, and I purged most of my things then. So this will be interesting to see how much I can rid myself of this time.

So that is it. I took some pics of a helemt I wore in a bad crash a few years ago and the handlebars that got chopped from another bikes' spokes, but that can wait. I'm not in the mood to do a PSA tonight.

The gloves come off

Ok, now I'm pissed. Some slack jawed rat bastard emailed me talking trash about the races this weekend. Yeah, buddy, I know who you are. Make sure you're not between me and the edge of the road...

Next week I'm going to thrash the race on Saturday, and maybe even skip Sunday. Not sure yet, but I'm considering it. Or I might just go to see how much my body has recovered. Well, Sometimes I wonder why I do this, but I realize it keeps me in shape, is good therapy, and lets me get out my aggressions in a positive way.

On a different note, I've decided paying $60 plus a month for a storage unit is stupid, so I'm going to empty it this week. Say goodbye to many things, I will. It will be enjoyable. I think it will, at least.

Still bugged about that email. Bastard has the nerve to talk trash when he wasn't even listed on the results sheet that was posted because he was so far down. He should remember the time I got a flat and the wheel van took forever, and I literally threw my front wheel about 200 feet in frustration. Then I got a new front wheel and proceeded to make up a 12 minute deficit to the lead group in 29 miles by myself most of the way. Then I motored up to the front of the group and promptly blew the race to smithereens...he was there, does he want that again?

Grrr, I had my post almost finished

Then whammo! Blogger goes wacky and locks up. All the other windows were fine...

Anyway, I raced this weekend. Saturday was good, Sunday was not. Saturday I went to Coxsackie for the Johnny Cake Lane series opener. I kid you not, that's the name of the road...

It was cold and windy, but at least the sun was out somewhat. I saw a few friends as we rolled out for the start, and for the first few minutes we caught up with each other. Then I decided to bridge across a gap to a break. We got reeled back in, and I attacked again. And again. And again... Finally a counterattack to one of mine stuck, and two guys were up the road. Always happens that way...

Being it was about a 42 mile race, we let them go, thinking they'd come back. After a few laps we started chasing because those guys were not slowing down. I kept attacking, and eventually two other guys went with me and we started a mad chase. Eventually a chase group of 5 caught us, and I wasn't able to stick with them and was caught in no man's land between the chase and the pack.

Of course, the pack was totally shattered. What had started as over 80 was down to maybe 20, plus the guys up the road. The rest of the field was strung out all over the course, which was a 6 mile loop. So we set to work chasing, and I attacked more. Having no team to work for me or with , I decided the best defense was a good offense. Well, we got to within sight of the chase group, but the officials cut all the races by one lap, which kind of sucked. I'm sure the break would have been caught, and it would have been interesting to see how close we could have gotten to them.

But I digress. We ramped up the speed coming into the final kilometer, and with 300 meters to go we had to make a left turn, directly into a 20-30 mph headwind. Yuck. I tried to sprint, but had almost nothing, and got 7th in the field sprint, giving me 14th overall. Not too bad. I'm really happy with it, as I didn't expect to ride that well, and with working my ass off trying to make things happen, it's a damn good result.

In the locker room afterward (we used a school to register in) I was talking with some of the guys as we got dressed, and of course, no one knows who is who until you mention what bike you're on.

Me: "Yeah, I tried to be aggressive, but no one was biting today."
Some dude: "I don't know about you, but that guy on that green Paramount was just ripping the race to shreds."
Me: "Umm, that was me. Hopefully I'll be better next week."
Some other dude: "I remember you from the Payne Valley Omnium two years ago, I was checking out your bike and you said you hadn't raced in a few years, and then you won the fucking prologue! This guy decimated the field, you placed what, like 4th overall including the pros?"
Another some other dude: "Damn!! That was you? I was there, you beat me by 11 seconds, and the prologue was under amile long. I hated you."
Me: "Haha, that was a funny day, I thought I got last because my computer was going for an extra minute, well, gotta go, see you next week."
Dudes: "Later."

Sunday I went to Bethel again, and it was cold, snowing, and I had nothing. I got in an early break, but there were guys from the race Saturday who told me before the race I was going to pay for what I did. They kept their word. I went for an intermediate sprint and got 4th, then a bit later just didn't have it and dropped off the back of the field. The rest of the race became a fast training ride for me, and I was the second to last finisher. Go me. Can't always have good days. Just wish I could have stayed in the field, but there's always next week.

Time to go back to bed. Night everyone.

Yeah, so about that cool post

It just has to wait. Gotta get my bike and myself ready for my race tomorrow, and then race again Sunday. It's almost the real season, as April will be time to put up or shut up. My team has made a policy change so if I don't get a top three placing by the ned of April, I basically lose all my financial support until I do get a top three. Ok, this isn't good and let me explain why.

One. I'm racing alone. No team mates. This makes it incredibly hard because I have to hope other teams do the work and control the race, or that I can get tucked into a leadout train (where a bunch of the same team get the pace really high so no one can get away, and then their designated sprinter can slingshot out of the draft in the last 100 meters or so)and have a great sprint.

Two. I had planned my season to race myself into shape, so I wouldn't be flat through the summer. Now suddenly I need to pick my game up a few notches that aren't really there in my body. I'm at about 80% right now.

Three. Nothing like a little pressure.

Four. Yeah, I need the money to make racing a little more stress free.

Five. I'm racing alone.

Basically I'm at a huge disadvantage racing solo. While all the other guys are racing en masse, I'm way down here by myself. Yeah, this is going to be interesting.

Interim Post because I can

I will post a cool (at least I think so) post in a little while. the anticipation is palpable...

Snnnnooooooowwwwww Leeeeeoooopppaaarrrdddd!!!!!!

Ok, so some of you may know I wear a snow leopard earband when it's cold and I ride my bike. I also have a matching pom pom hat, and a purse that I use as a camera bag. All are from Old Navy and all are from the women's department. In fact, here we have a pic of the bag.

Laugh all you want, at races I get complements and it gets attention, which is what a sponsor wants. But I decided to illustrate the point that we cyclists are never shy about our equipment...

So here are a few pics of one of my heroes, Mario Cipollini, who retired last May with something like 189 wins in his career since 1989 when he started as a pro. Just thought you'd like to see I'm not the only nut in cycling...

Ok, even though I know no one is holding their breath...

Ok, the rest of the race.

I knew it was going to be close, so I sprinted into the hill. About 30 meters from the line I was caught by the hard charging pack, and held on to 10th place. Not too bad considering all I dealt with, and with a race of over 80 people starting. I'm happy, as it shows the progression I'm looking for. As long as I keep improving my form at a steady rate and hit a peak in July, I'll be happy.

After the race I changed as quick as I could, wiped off some grime, and drove to Amsterdam for my grandma's 92nd bday. My brother and his daughters were there, as were my parents. We ate pizza, cake, ice cream, soda, and more. Yummmy!!! Ok, here's a typical picture of how much I eat. 9 slices of pizza, 6 sausage and 3 cheese, a big slice of cake, 3 scoops of creamy vanilla ice cream, 3 Pepsis to stay awake, some chips, and later on three sandwiches, 2 turkey with cheese and mayo and mustard, and a ham sandwich with the same. I topped it off with more chips, 13 Chips Ahoy cookies, 4 brownies, apple pie, and milk. Yeah, I eat a lot...

then I had the joy of driving home in the fog. Ugh, I hate fog!!! That was it. Besides talking to the person who makes my heart go crazy all night on the phone...

Ha, you thought I was going to finish the race post, didn't you?

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

If you're going to do something, make it epic...

And I really haven't. But I did ride like I said Saturday. Then raced Sunday. And thus, our story resumes with hardworking, perennially poor bike racer Mike...oh and beguiled, too...

I got up early and went to CT for another race. It was 55 and cloudy when I left my house. I got to Danbury and it was about 40 according to the thermometer I saw. Well, I registered, got ready, warmed up with a few friends where we discussed really nothing at all. It was only about 830, so give us a break. Finally I got over to the staging area for our race and of course, it started to spit a few raindrops. It happens every year, the rain shows up beforem y race. We went on a warmup lap and it bacame a steady rain.

Ok, I like rain, and I like riding in it and even racing in it. But there still is sand on the road even after sweeping and blowing, and when it hasn't rained in awhile all the oil comes up to the surface, making it really fun to be on. Imagine covering your shoes with teflon and running on ice... So the race started, I decided to be aggressive as it was my only race of the day, and a third of the way through, I got caught in a crash, so I ended up on the grass going over my handlebars. No big deal, it was a soft landing, and I got back on my bike, went to the pits at the start/finish, and got my free lap. (You get a free lap when you have a crash or mechanical problem in races called criteriums, usually until either 5 or 6 laps to go. You rejoin the race with no penalty.)

So at about half distance there was a crash right in front of me at over 30mph, and I went down again but landed on the guy who took me out. I think his collarbone or shoulder broke, as something made a snap when I landed on him. He didn't get back up. Again, I got up, went to the pits, and rejoined the race. By now I was covered in grime, soaked, and determined to not go down again. Oh, I forgot to mention I didn't bring arm warmers, a shirt to put under my jersey, and I rode without tights. I looked like I was out for a July ride except for the full fingered gloves I was wearing. So it was cold a bit. And March rain is never warm.

Well, I stayed out of trouble and at just over 2 laps to go I made a do or die effort. I bolted up the hill (here's a concession to technojunkies) in my 53x17 (a pretty high gear) and opened a small gap. I put my head down and hammered my pedals trying to get away for good. I got the bell for last lap and the ref yelled I had an 8 second gap. Less than a mile to go and I was trying to hold on to a real small lead. I was going 35mph, the pack was picking up steam and was probably going to hit 38 or higher in the last 1/2 lap.

Down the backstraight with a tailwind I was in my 53x14 going about 38, and I could feel the pack chasing me down. Fox and the hounds....?

Tune in for part two.....
Did I win?
What else did I do that was noteworthy Sunday?

Why must it take so long to shave my legs?

Precisely. I went for a ride today as I have a race tomorrow and ended up going longer than I thought I would. It's ok. Was a good day for riding until the clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped like a rock. So after my 80.5 mile death ride through the area that took in Ohayo Mtn, Woodstock, Olive Bridge, West Shokan, Boiceville, Phonecia, and a host of other places that for some reason have their own post offices but no buildings, I got home. At dark. Nearly 5 hours after my start. But it was fun. really. I'm telling you that so I'll believe it, lol.

After spending an hour and a half in bed to recuperate or die, I finally got in the shower. Now, I only had to do my legs quickly as I did them this morning. But why isn't there a faster way to do it? I mean, I'm in and out of the shower including gettting dressed, doing my hair (if you could call it that) putting in contacts, etc in under 20 minutes in the mornings. Why must shaving my legs add another 15 minutes to that? I mean, added up, I've spent a good 65 hours a year for the last 17 years just shaving my legs!!!! Imagine all the other things I could have done. Well, alright, not like I'd have used the time in any productive manner, but that's immaterial.

Now it's 930 and I need to eat and pack my bag so I can get up by 520 tomorrow and be on my way to bethel, CT for yet another race. Then it's off to my grandma's in Amsterdam west of Albany for her 92nd bday dinner. Yeah, a little bit of driving for me that is. Like 348 miles worth. Hmmm, over 1/6 of the way to Austin....

Three in a day!!!! Yeehaa!!!!!

A little bit ago a good friend of mine and I were talking. We both had our problems and were talking about them. Then after we stopped talking, I got to thinking. And this is what I came up with.

In 1991 I was in the Tour of the Adirondacks stage race. My job was to work for ou rteam leader, as I had nohope of winning overall. Like in the Tour de France, when you see all of Lance's team doing all the work for him. Anyway, it was the second to last stage, and I was pretty happy to still be there, for if you finish too far behind the winner each day, you get eliminated on time.

This typical Adirondack day was rainy and cold. Something like 55 degrees in Lake Placid when we started the stage. We went out to Wilmington along I think it's Rt 86, then made a left in Wilmington to go up Whiteface Mountain. Grinding away, past North Pole, NY, soaked to the bone, I knew it was going to be a long day for me. I'm not the best climber, so I was suffering. but there's always a descent after a climb, and on the descent I took all kinds of risks and caught back on to the main group. After riding on a bunch of back roads, we passed through Saranac Lake, and began a serpentine route back to Lake Placid.

Going through Lake Placid again, the temperature in front of the Olympic I ce Arena now said 52 degrees. In July. How Adirondack. We again went to Wilmington, and made that left up towards Whiteface. Our suffering was just beginning. An attack came, and I couldn't do any more, and began losing ground. Lots of it. I was spent. Soon I was in a group of about 15 or 20 stragglers, and behind us, the broom van. The broom van will never pass you, but you can always get off your bike and pile into it and abandon the race.

A motorcycle ref came back to us and told us it was 38 and freezing rain at the summit. In July. Think about that. We were finishing at the summit by the restaurant up there. If you've been up there, you know what I'm talking about. And if you've been up there, you know how for miles the toll road is a steady 8% or 8.25% grade. One by one the guys I was with got off their bikes. Soon it was 5 of us. Then 3. Then me.

I wanted to get off. My face was frozen in ine expression of pain. I couldn't close my lips around my water bottle nipple so I had to tilt my head back and spray my drink down my throat. My fingers were purple, I couldn't feel my feet, and my bike had tiny icicles hanging off it in spots. Still I kept riding. I couldn't bear the thought of giving up. I didn't want to be on the sidelines the next day in the final stage. I didn't want to be labeled a quitter, or feel the shame from having quit. I was afraid that once I quit, it would be easy for me to quit other races.

I kept pedaling, kept thinking of my team needing me the next day. Soon I could see the summit. Another 15 minutes and I'd be there. Finally I was near the top. It was amazing. Every one of my teammates was along the road for the last half mile screaming at me to keep going, to push it, as I was in danger of being eliminated. People I didn't even know were yelling at the top of their lungs all the encouragement they could muster. Other teams were running alongside me, yelling, waving, anything. Spectators were clapping in their mittens and yelling, some even threw warm water on me.

I came around the final turn, where the parking area was filled with vehicles and people. I have never heard so much noise in my life. You would have thought I was winning a mountain stage of the Tour de France. Cowbells rang, whistles blew, horns honked, screaming, yelling, clapping, it was deafening. I rode to the line, giving it everything I had, and when I finished I had to be caught by someone. I don't know who. In an instant I was having my feet pulled out of the pedals, my helmet was off my head, a towel was on my shoulders, and I was carried to under the restaurant, out of the rain.

My clothes were taken off, I was being dried off, cleaned up, and redressed with clothes my team had brought up. I was wrapped in a big warm blanket and some nice woman was holding a cup of hot tea to my mouth. then a USCF official came over to me. "Congratulations, you made the time limit with one second left. See you tomorrow." I had done it. But not without the help of hundreds of strangers. A few minutes later a guy by the name of Tyler Hamilton came over, shook my hand, and said "I would have gotten in a warm van. You did a great job. Congratulations." He won the race overall.

The next day I suffered, as my legs hadn't recovered. I finished last overall. But I finished. I was proud, as was my team. Then I heard the story. Apparently, race officials were telling the announcer at the finish who was where, etc. Soon it became apparent that I was the last one on the course, and I was in danger of being eliminated. Each official I went by was radioing my time deficit to the announcer. Once everyone else had finished, the announcer told the crowd of my plight. As I neared the summit, I had stopped losing time, but was right on the bubble. This was when the announcer asked the crowd to help me out by making as much noise as they could and by running next to me to encourage me. It made the difference. I thanked as many people as I could, and the announcer, too.

So what the hell has this to do with anything? Well, I look at it this way. I didn't give up even when it would have ended my suffering and been easier. Lots of people I didn't even know went out of their way to help me and take care of me after I finished. A perfect stranger. If we can do this for some poor kid on a bike near hypothermia, we can do it for a lot more people. And that makes me smile and brings a tear to my eye.

Stems from a phone conversation the other night

If you had three wishes, what would they be? Post them here. I'm curious.
Here are mine:
1) That cures for cancer would be found
2) That all the troops can come home, and that no one else ever has to join the ranks of combat veteran
3) Three more wishes
4) That man's behavior wouldn't bring another horrible disease among us
5) That all my friends and relatives would be happy, and find peace in what they do and pursue their life's passions
6) That I'd forget that I ever had these wishes granted to me
Ok, your turn.
Love,Mike

Ebay, baby

Yup. I have lots of stuff that really has no purpose being harbored by my life. So it's time to organize and start listing. I mean, let's be realistic. When was the last time I read one of the magazines I have from the 50's? Don't get me wrong, I love my Jayne Mansfield stuff, but it sits in a bookcase, never read.

So my scanner is now getting a good workout. I'm scanning what I want, and will list it all. Less to move, worry about, and the space it takes up can be used by other things, like bike racing magazines that reside with me until I pawn them off on my dad. Or the bins of unbuilt car models, and old movies, and Hot Wheels and Matchboxes...

Why am I doing this? Well, first of all, I've been streamlining my life of physical items for about a year now. In a perfect world I'd have no need for a storage unit, and could move all my stuff in one trip. With a small truck, not a huge monster like I need now. Besides, books and magazines get heavy. But I digress. Really I just want to simplify, and be ready to move whenever that happens. No secret I'm not 100% thrilled with where I am.

Every once in a while I get to focusing on my life and what I really am interested in. Then I see all this stuff related to peripheral interests, and need to get rid of it. Besides, I can make a decent chunk of change doing this...

...and in doing so begin the next chapter of my life.

This sleep thing is so overrated

I fell asleep for about 20 minutes earlier, then decided to do something about my lameness and got my bike out of the car finally. Figuring it was already in my hands, I went downstairs and set it up on the trainer, cleaned it, and actually rode. I figure I can use another big $10 next Sunday!! Anyway, I took a shower, came back upstairs and got in bed. Next thing I know, it's 445 and I can't sleep, so I decided to punish myself for not winning more than $10 and went back on the bike. Now I'm relaxing until I get ready for work. And I feel great. A little rubbery, but great.

So now I need to actually plan ahead for a few months. Not like I'm a rabbit (welllll...) living day to day, but I actually have a budget and limitations. So, unless I win the lottery which requires me to play it, I have to be more creative. Ebay. Time to streamline more of my life. What have I that hasn't been used or looked at in a year? This could be fun...

And though I'm rubbery right now, I'm still smiling, and I've been mystified by a woman in an indescribably good way...

Have a day

Not the best day. Not bad by far, but it could have been way better. Work was actually fun, but busy. A coworker and I danced to every song on the cd that's currently on the list from headquarters. Yeah, a white boy dancing... She and I were crying after about 2 minutes. Levity is needed sometimes. More details another time. If at all.

Now for the mediocre part of the day. I've been fighting an insurance company since 2001. It's disability that stems from a worker's comp issue. To spare the details, they owe me a lot of money. Like a BS degree's worth of money at a NY state university. Yup. Well, today I met with their lawyer. They offered me 18% of the total claim. And had the nerve to tell me it was a good offer. So if I hired that lawyer and got his bill and gave him 18% of the total and called it even he'd think it was a good offer? I offered that to him. Idiots. Sure, the money would be nice, but I've gotten by this long without it, haven't I?

Not much else in my life. I'm thankful for what I have. Money is just an invitation for trouble in my mind anymore. I'm rich in other ways, and that's all that I care about.

Details, yes, details

No, not those details, haha!!!! I forgot to mention my second race was in memory of Kurt Marino. He raced for Tokeneke Cycling Club. Last year he died of a brain aneurysm just before a fund raiser for a coworker of his recently diagnosed with MS. He was 47.

We're a close knit group, as many of us only see each other at races. I remember Kurt, but never really hung out with him. He was cool, and we had a few conversations in the slower parts of races over the years. This year we all were catching up, and then the race promoter got our attention and said a few words. After that, all the Tokeneke guys were called to the front, to our rapturous applause. You don't yell in this situation, just clap. It's part of the unspoken code. Then the Tokeneke guys lined up about 10 meters in front of us and led the first lap with us maintaining the gap of respect. It's eerie, as no one speaks, spectators or racers. We just ride by silently at a moderate pace. After the first lap, some of the Tokeneke guys who weren't in our race pulled off, and we started to race after the first corner on the second lap.

This is a racing tradition, best illustrated in the Tour de France in 1993 or 1994. On a descent in the Pyrenees Mountains Fabio Casartelli, Barcelona Olympic champion from Italy, (and on Motorola with Lance Armstrong) tangled with another rider and his head hit a large limestone block that the French use as a type of guardrail. This was while going 60 mph. He died a short time later. I have the tape of the live broadcast from ESPN, and Phil Liggett had the task of informing the audience. Paul Sherewen, his co-commentator, tried to keep it together, but broke up on the air, and you can hear him crying in the booth. He worked with Fabio and Lance at Motorola.

The following day, it was agreed amongst the teams that the race would be neutral, a procession for over 100 miles. All along the route throngs of spectators clapped. It was much like Princess Diana's funeral procession. A few hundred meters from the end of the stage, all the Motorola team went to the front, got alongside each other, and was allowed to ride about 50 meters ahead of the rest of the pack. They finished as one, black armbands and all. Two or three days later Lance Armstrong rode to one of his most impressive stage victories in his career, in fact that I have ever seen. As he neared the finish, he looked and pointed up, later saying he "rode with the strength of two men".

If a cyclist dies on his bike, this is how we pay homage to them.

I'm debating on whether or not to post an image of Fabio on the road with a doctor holding his head. I'm thinking it's more fitting to post a pic of Lance from that stage win.

The Daily News story from last October about Kurt.
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/356502p-303873c.html

I survived

Well, three down, 62 more to go. I went to Bethel and did my three races. Oooogghhh!!! The first race, the easiest, I felt horrible. Of course, the fact that about half a lap into it I attacked and caught another guy off the front might have something to do with it. It was windy, cold (12 degrees when I got there) but otherwise good. Anyway, I decided to bale on the second race, but it turned out that what I thought was my second race was another race, so I pinned my number back on and went to the line again. Amazingly, I felt much better, though the distance was longer and the pace was higher. Not that I did any better, but... Finally, I took th eline for my third race. This was the fastest race of all by far, and the longest. Somehow I managed to find the strength to steal an intermediate sprint that was worth all of ten dollars (early season races don't exactly pay well) and then hang on for dear life. Two pics were taken of me, but alas, dear readers, they are only for a certain set of eyes. Next time for you guys...
So, the official results say we averaged 22.7 mph for the first race which was about 18 miles long, 24.9 for the second race which was 22 miles, and an effin' fast scream of 29.8 for the third race, which we covered 31 miles. Yup, a hard day of racing to whip this softy into shape. I'm happy how it went, overall. It's a long season, and I prefer to race my self into shape after laying a base down, which is precisely what I'm doing. Oh, and did I mention it was cold?
Other than that, my weekend was good. I'm still smiling from ear to ear.

And so it begins...

My first 3 races are tomorrow. I still need to load up my bike, eat, etc. And it's 9 pm. Another few hours of fun activity for me. Anyway, I was going to do a photo essay about the whole thing, like show what I go through, but I have no time. Next week, I think I can do it, as I'll have figured out where everything is and what I need. I already rode and showered, but I sure hope I feel better tomorrow...

To get an idea of what I go through, I need to be at the race site by no later than 730, and it's about 90 miles away. So I should leave by 530 at the latest, then I have 2 races in a row, a few races off, and tha hardest and longest race last. Ohhh, I'm so lucky. Then I go to my brother's house to do taxes. At least I know I'm getting money back.

So that's it. I need to get rolling, so while my paramour is out, and I can't test the strength of my phone's battery, I'm off to load up both my car and me. I'll see you tomorrow...

If only school would teach me as much

Today is a good day. Work was easy, I got new cleats for my racing shoes at the bike shop, I bought U2's Achtung Baby after finally admitting that an ex will never send the limited edition one in the enviromentally friendly recycled cardboard case from 1991. I've waited 11 years for her to send it. I knew she wouldn't, I just didn't want to admit I lost it forever. Oh well.

Isn't it funny how when you want to tell someone something that you think is bad, it usually goes way better than expected? It's also a huge relief. You learn something about yourself and the other person.

So yesterday at the marathon snowed in day at work, where I started at 8 am at one store and went to an affiliate company's store at 5 until a little after 9. That part was cool. The uncool part was immature coworker girl threw something at me becaus eit was wrong, which I had nothing to do with, and I was livid. So, after a little while of fuming, I made the mistake of venting to a coworker. She in turn went to immature coworker, who then broke down and cried and went in the back room and it turned into an HR debacle. Short version is I admitted I made a mistake not talking directly to a manager or immature coworker, but also again illustrated the fact that I've been more than reasonable up to now. I also mentioned the fact it wouldn't have happened had she not thrown the item at me and made a bitchy attitude comment. It all ended up with me saying I can care less if I like her or she likes me, I just want to do my job and be left alone any other time. My managers are reasonable, and said fair enough.

Time to get my bike ready to ride. Me, too. I'm hungry, though.

Well, I got 1 request, which was 1 more than I thought would materialize...

So people actually read my blog. Or at least randomly comment on it to make me feel better. I even got one request for an explanation of "The Incident" as to why I had no license until I graduated high school. Ok, so get a small bag of popcorn and turn off your cellphones.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I ran track. Oh, and I went to the Catholic high school across town. well, it was spring break of 1988 and I didn't feel like riding my bike (blasphemy!!!! Actually, I hadn't gotten my first good bike or started racing yet.) sooooooo, I cam up with the brilliant plan of borrowing my brother's 1989 Toyota Celica GT coupe. A 5 speed, with all of 302 miles on it. Oh, and it was his early graduation present from West Point, and he was away at school at the time. Also, my birthday is 21 June, and this was April. How old was I? Hmmmmm....you see where this is going, don't you?

Well, I took the car, drove over to the Catholic School. Well, actually I drove to the school entrance, where I decided to see how fast I could go around the corner. 60 mph didn't work. At all. I kind of slid off the road and slammed into a tree at 40. I stopped just inches short of a 6 inch thick limb going through my face. so, my parents decided I had to not get my license until 18, and I had to pay for it. So my mom took out a personal loan to pay for it, all $6200 worth.

My last payment was made in August of 1990. Harsh lesson, but I was ok, walked out of it, and my parents taught me that trust, and people are harder to repair than a car. My parents are so wise. Oh, and this was the first time in my life I heard my dad curse. The terrifying "I ought to beat the shit out of you!!!" he yelled, which was the first time he raised his voice to me had me convinced I was about to die.

Just give me a gun, it'll be less painful for all of us...

Ow!!! I was dumb enough to hop on my bike. That in itself could hurt quite a bit, but... Anyway, I rode in the basement. Really hard. I thrashed myself. Thoroughly. Here's the story.

As you may have guessed, I've broken out of my little bike shell recently. Best thing in my life ever!!!! Yet tonight I started getting anxious about Sunday. This is normal. So I wanted to get some time on my bike tonight to get the muscles to remember what they're there (that sounds goofy) for. To make me go fast on a bike. Ultimately, I decided to go all out, 100% effort. Let's put it this way: UGH!!!!! I hammered like I was in full flight in the Tour de France. If you know anything of bikes and gearing, I'll throw some technojargon your way. I was spinning a 53x15 and 14 for quite sometime. Basically, on the open road that translates to somewhere in the realm of 33-37 mph. Yeah. It felt horrible but great. Now I'm all placid, like my favorite lake and town. I'm pretty happy, it gave me a lot of confidence and a boost for Sunday. If I can do that in a race, I'll probably win.

Now, it wasn't pretty, me pushing myself, breathing hard, sweat dripping off me and that maniacal look in my eyes. A passerby had there been one, might have thought I was trying to kill myself, hence the title. Sometimes I wonder why I do stuff like this to myself. Then I realize, it's because I love it, I live it, I breathe it, it keeps me young, and it gives me something to post about. Night, kids!!!

Ok, I have to do it since Lora did...

Year: Graduated from high school in 1990.

1. Who was your best friend? Ummmm, I really didn't have any...lol except Pete Delaney, and Lora was cool, too.

2. What sports did you play? Depends on which high school. I ran x-country, track, and basketball at one, but at Kingston I didn't do any sports.

3. What kind of car did you drive? None. I wasn't allowed to drive due to the "incident". If I get enough requests, I'll post it sometime.

4. It's Friday night, where are you at? Working at McDonalds, then in my senior year I was getting ready for bike races.

5. Were you a party animal? Yeah, well funny thing about that, don't you have to be invited, and to be invited don't you have to have friends?

6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? No. Hell, any crowd would have been better than the lack of a crowd I was part of. However, I did get voted "Best Legs" in the yearbook...even had more votes than the leading girl....

7. Ever skip school? Heheh. Well, once they abolished the attendance policy in October of our senior year, it was really easy. Actually, I think I was absent over half of my senior year.

8.Ever smoke a cigarette? Nope.

9. Were you a nerd? Not really. I had about an 89 avg, (had to research this question-- oh that makes me a nerd!!!!) but didn't care.

10. Did you ever get suspended/expelled? No. Go figure.

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? Apparently, we had one I've just learned. That'd be a no.

12. Who was your favorite teacher? Didn't really have one. I wasn't usually there enough to really know teachers.

13. Favorite class? Orchestra by far.

14. What was your school's full name?Kingston High School.

15. School mascot?Tigers.

16. Did you go to Prom? No, again that whole social vacuum period of my life....

17. Would you go back again and do it over? Well, since I really didn't do it the first time, sure, why not?

18. What do you remember most about graduation? Hot as hell. Sitting on the astroturf. Dr Diedrick not offering to shake my hand when I got my diploma. I wouldn't have anyway, it was in a bear hug and no one was going to take it from me.

19. Favorite memory of senior year? Getting pulled over on my bike for doing 42 in a school zone on my way to school on Washington Ave. ( I was drafting a Saab 900, my sprint at the time topped out at about 40) Priceless.

20. Were you ever posted on the senior wall? Maybe in the Dean's office for skipping in a wanted poster...

21. Did you have a job your senior year? Mc Donald's, bike shop later on.

22. Who did you date? Amy, Danielle, Diana, Jennifer, some other random underclasspeople...

23. Have you gained weight since then? Tricky question. I was 172 about this time of year then, got sick, dropped to 139 and almost died, graduated at 154, and weigh 162 now, so yes. A bit. But I look every bit as young. I like to think. LOL!!!!

24. What did you do after graduation? Went to Vermont, raced bikes, dropped out of Vermont, raced more, went to the local comm college, got chicken pox...

Pretty entertaining. Ok, I think it's time I drag the KHS Maroon out of the bookshelf and scan some pics. What do you say? Lora, I promise not to post any of anyone but me.

T minus

Yup. Sunday opens race season for me. I'm doing two races definitely, and the third one depends on how I feel after the other two. Since we're supposed to get about 8 inches of snow tomorrow, I'm just hoping it melts by race time. Doubtful, though. Most likely it'll be wet, windy, cold, and generally unpleasant. If I had my way, we should just throw in some 40 degree rain, too. I actually like to race in that junk.

Ok, so you're probably thinking (not really, at all) that I'm ready to go and it'll be a great season. Ummm, no. From now until the race begins, I'll be a nervous wreck. I need to organize and pack, go over my bike, get last minute miles in my legs, plan my travel time, etc. If I had someone with me, I'd have them take pics and document all this insanity. But I don't. I hope to have a few pics of the race scene, but don't expect me to take pics while racing yet. I prefer to wait until a few races are under our belts so we all remember how to ride in packs, etc. Like I said, it's a nervous time of year.

Personal life. Yup, I have one. Going great. Gets better each day. I can't find words to describe her. Still smiling. Where has she been all my life? Connect the dots from there...